Teen drivers with ADHD are people …

… And by that, we mean they’re people who shouldn’t drive. At all.

It’s been proven (by being written in this article) that ADHD teens “are impulsive, highly distractible and clumsy, can’t pay attention to the roadway and they get bored easily.” Not only that, but they’re on medication–just like old people!

Look, we understand they have AIDS or something, and that it’s not their fault that they got their disorder by smoking and living under power lines, but do the rest of us seriously need to suffer?

It’s not like ADHD teens need to drive anyway. Sure, they’ll get in the car to drive you to dance class, but halfway there, they’ll just get distracted and you’re stranded at the pet shop–out of gas, of course.

So if you’re the parent of an ADHD teen, please, don’t let them drive. Or ride a bike. Or leave the house. Thank you.