MEANWHILE: Your dog ate some poop

David Madsen trained his Labrador Retriever to do basic math on command. The dog, Beau, can reportedly add, subtract, “do some division and has memorized square roots” with counted barks.

And yet, he somehow didn’t make the cut for David Letterman’s “Stupid Pet Tricks” segment.

If you would like to make Letterman pay for his insolence, don’t bother. Al Qaeda’s got it covered.