Hitler’s underwear went on the auction block last week and you missed out on it–unless of course you’re the highest bidder.
An auction house in Maryland sold a pair of Adolf Hitler’s underwear, fetching $6,737. The monogrammed white boxers were said to have been left at an Austrian hotel after the Nazi leader stayed there in 1938. The hotel owner’s grandson sold the weird item.
Some readers may recall that Eva Braun’s panties were auctioned off just last year. Turns out both pairs of Nazi underwear were sold at the same auction house, Alexander Historical Auctions.
So if you’ve got some creepy OG Nazi stuff you want to unload (and alt right rallies show the market is hot right now), apparently Maryland is open for business.
In my better moments, I like to think of myself as an optimist. I try to believe that people are rational, considerate people. Then I read that Animal Planet’s mockumentary “Mermaids” got the highest ratings the network has seen in 17 years. One can only explain away so many of the viewers as getting confused with the Cher movie of the same name. No, it’s because people not only believed the show was real, but they believe that mermaids are real, too. Humans kind of suck when you think about it. If you were busy being Amanda Bynes this week, odds are you missed it.
Boiling mad about a kettle
We don’t know if Adolf Hitler was a big fan of tea, but tea is certainly a big fan of him–at least if you get your tea from the right kettle. This week, JC Penney found itself unexpectedly talked about when the internet realized that one of the tea kettles it sold kind of resembles the furher himself. The $40 kettle has since been pulled from shelves and off the store’s site.
Nothing good comes in the mail
This week, letters with what authorities suspect is ricin or another poison were sent to New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg, the anti-gun group he formed, and President Barack Obama. Man, someone should make that stuff illegal. On the plus side, it’s good to see the crazies of America support the U.S. Postal Service.
We seem to cover Catholics a lot lately
Gordon Gee, the president of Ohio State University, was recorded this week saying bad things about Notre Dame. No one was really upset about the attacks aimed specifically at the school, Notre Dame sucks, it was his anti-Catholic remarks. Gee, a Mormon, said that Catholics are not trustworthy. He has since apologized for his comments and is undergoing a “remediation plan.” If only there was a Jesse Jackson of the Catholics he could ask forgiveness from.
As Doug Neal, the group’s spokesfuhrer, put it, they’ll be seen “doing good things,” much like the sentiment of Hitler “doing good things” for Germany before those things were overshadowed by trifles like genocide and waging a war of global domination.
And, the suburb is allegedly relieved since the previous highway clean-up was performed by members of the Aryan Brotherhood from the local prison. At least these Nazis aren’t convicted felons, right?
The album was taken by John Pistone at the end of World War II when he entered Hitler’s home in the Bavarian Alps in 1945, which is surprising when you consider that of all the souvenirs he could have grabbed–weapons, uniforms or cloning vials–he choose a 12-pound picture book.
Of course, it wouldn’t be a news report about a fleeting cultural phenomenon on Fox unless somebody was offended. A group representing Holocaust survivors has objected to at least one video in which the balmy Bavarian bratwurst-eschewing bomb-dodger has trouble finding parking in Tel Aviv, Israel.
To be honest, you’d probably have to be Jewish to get that one, anyway.
According to a recently discovered secret intelligence report (found during housecleaning, so who knows what’s in yourattic?), der Furher had a penchant for biting his nails, gorging on cakes and poorly engaging in conversation during meals.
However, something else interesting came up in the report: Hitler drank one or two glasses of beer with each meal of vegetables or stewed fruit. So, looks like he did drink after all … just not nearly as much as Churchill.
Sixty-three years ago, Berlin fell. It was the end of World War II (also known as the War That Was Greater Than the Great War). The evil dictator Adolf Hitler was dead and the world was a happier place, free from ever going to war again.