You know who else supported highways?

The Neo-Nazis may be cleaning up a town near you!

Did that just send chills down your spine? Then shame on you, because at least one branch of America’s Nazi Party has adopted a 1 mile stretch of highway in a Denver suburb.

It’s a win-win situation.

As Doug Neal, the group’s spokesfuhrer, put it, they’ll be seen “doing good things,” much like the sentiment of Hitler “doing good things” for Germany before those things were overshadowed by trifles like genocide and waging a war of global domination.

And, the suburb is allegedly relieved since the previous highway clean-up was performed by members of the Aryan Brotherhood from the local prison. At least these Nazis aren’t convicted felons, right?

You know who else had a wishlist?

One of 31 albums of artwork that Adolf Hitler wanted will be returned to Germany in January. The album is a collection of photographs of artwork that Hitler hoped to collect for his Führermuseum in Linz, Austria.

The album was taken by John Pistone at the end of World War II when he entered Hitler’s home in the Bavarian Alps in 1945, which is surprising when you consider that of all the souvenirs he could have grabbed–weapons, uniforms or cloning vials–he choose a 12-pound picture book.

Another day, another Hitler headline

Adolf Hitler, the dead dictator of Deutchlund (that’s alliteration, Kyle), has made yet another headline this week, this time through Fox News’ pressing coverage of YouTube fads.

For the uninitiated, a YouTube fad is a joke that other people imitate for about 2 days, and then promptly becomes unfunny when Fox News covers it as News.

Users are posting footage of the mustachioed, megalomaniacal mastermind of mass murder (boo-yah) yelling at underlings in the 2004 movie, Downfall, with new subtitles about why he’s pissed:

Of course, it wouldn’t be a news report about a fleeting cultural phenomenon on Fox unless somebody was offended. A group representing Holocaust survivors has objected to at least one video in which the balmy Bavarian bratwurst-eschewing bomb-dodger has trouble finding parking in Tel Aviv, Israel.

To be honest, you’d probably have to be Jewish to get that one, anyway.

Table manners Godwinned

Next time you’re at dinner and your kids’ insistence on eating with their feet threaten your appetite, you can now correct their behavior with, “You know who else had atrocious table manners?”

According to a recently discovered secret intelligence report (found during housecleaning, so who knows what’s in your attic?), der Furher had a penchant for biting his nails, gorging on cakes and poorly engaging in conversation during meals.

However, something else interesting came up in the report: Hitler drank one or two glasses of beer with each meal of vegetables or stewed fruit. So, looks like he did drink after all … just not nearly as much as Churchill.

Germany will rise again

Sixty-three years ago, Berlin fell. It was the end of World War II (also known as the War That Was Greater Than the Great War). The evil dictator Adolf Hitler was dead and the world was a happier place, free from ever going to war again.

However, that may not be the end of it for the Allies. It seems Hitler is making a comeback, this time at the Madame Tussauds wax museum in Berlin, but no one is shouting his name and cheering. In fact, they seem to be pretty upset about it.

Luckily, Hitler’s arch-nemesis, Dr. Henry “Indiana” Jones Jr. has just come back as well. Get ready for a fifth installment.