Tag: advice

Still beats McCain’s makeup tips

When it comes to cushy government jobs, the office of Vice President of the United States might just be the cushiest. They’re the non-speaking President of the U.S. Senate, and aside from the occasional “honey-do” list from the President, they basically sit around waiting for a pretzel to do its nasty work.

Fortunately, our current Veep, Joe Biden, has found a new role to occupy his time: C@%kblocker in Chief.

Since 2008, Vice President Biden has counseled every young woman he’s met to not date until they’re 30. 30? This sounds like the work of IHOP’s Early Bird Special Lobbyists.

Reabsorbed? Didn’t see that coming

We’ve all heard of Jenny McCarthy and her anti-vaccination rants. But, did you know that there are many other actors who endorse dangerous health ideas? It’s true! Well, science shall no longer tolerate the reckless endangerment of people who take medical advice from abdominal support systems.

We’d like to single out one item in this year’s Sense About Science list, and that’s cage fighter Alex Reid’s semen absorption (“I’m serious; stop laughing, guys!”) scheme:

“It’s actually very good for a man to have unprotected sex as long as he doesn’t ejaculate. Because I believe that all that semen has a lot of nutrition. A tablespoon of semen has your equivalent of steak, eggs, lemons and oranges. I am reabsorbing it into my body and it makes me go raaaaahh.”

Mr. Reid, while this in no way makes us question your sexuality, we’d like to bring up a story about this one guy we heard about in high school who tried to have sex with his girlfriend, and she wouldn’t let him finish, and he died.

… Seriously, though: that “raaaahh”-ing? Probably a prostate cancer flare-up.