Well, it looks like our plan to appease Osama bin Laden by electing a secret Muslim has failed.
Bin Laden rolled out his greatest hits (presumably to chime in on I Love the War on Terror: 2003), indicating that the United States — the President in particular — is responsible for the Muslim world frowning on his shenanigans.
Blaming the U.S. president for his woes? Maybe he is turning American after all!
Online dating sites are corrupting America, and we’re not talking about erotic ads on craigslist. Apparently, the number of members of our military joining those sites is huge. This means that rather than being hooked on various kinds of drugs, like in Vietnam, our fighting men and women are now becoming addicted to love.
What is the world coming to? Every one of us knows that online dating is the enemy and a dangerous gateway. You know, first you start dating people, then you start posting cutesy pictures of each other on your Facebook page, pretty soon, you’re telling everyone how great this person is, nauseating everyone within earshot. Folks, this is not what our troops need. They need to remain celibate like Jesus and focused on the fight so they can come home alive and start a baby boom.
Our brave servicemen and women need to stop thinking about who winked back at them and lay down some covering fire.
Sarah Palin Sarah Palin Sarah Palin Sarah Palin.
Sarah Palin? Sarah Palin Sarah Palin Sarah Palin Sarah Palin Sarah Palin, Sarah Palin Sarah Palin Sarah Palin!
Sarah Palin Sarah Palin:
Sarah Palin Sarah Palin Sarah Palin Sarah Palin.
“Sarah Palin Sarah Palin Sarah Palin Sarah Palin Sarah Palin Sarah Palin; Sarah Palin Sarah Palin Sarah Palin, Sarah Palin” [emphasis ours].
Oh, and we invaded Pakistan yesterday. Sarah Palin.
