It’s getting so you can’t fly with a sex doll anymore

Here’s a tip to anyone planning a bachelor party: don’t start the party until you arrive at the destination.

This week, a drunk guy with a sex doll caused a Belfast-bound plane to be diverted to France. According to reports, the bachelor party was already pretty loaded when they boarded the plane, and it didn’t get any better. The group was pretty rowdy and verbally abusive. When one of the group’s members was denied a drink, he got worse. It probably also didn’t help that he had a sex doll sitting with him.

The man was arrested when the plane landed in France.

Hello Overload

Good news for Bryan Schools: Taiwan-based airline EVA Air will be rolling out Hello Kitty based flights for the Taipei market. From the outside in, everything is Hello Kitty, from the baggage tags to the headrests to special meals. You can even get Hello Kitty pasta from the stewardess, who will of course be in a Hello Kitty apron.

I feel diabetic.

Now these flights are not going everywhere in the world. You can see the basic schedule of flights below.

Magic Jet flies Taipei-Sapporo (BR116/115) daily and Taipei-Guam (BR20/19) on Tuesdays and Saturdays.
Apple Jet flies Taipei-Fukuoka (BR2106/2105) every Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday; Taipei-Seoul (BR160/159) daily.
Global Jet flies Taipei-Hong Kong (BR857/858) and Taipei-Tokyo (BR2189/2197) daily.

This isn’t the first time that EVA air has done this. They introduced the Hello Kitty themed planes back in 2005, but they had to stop the flights in 2009 because the contract expired. Either way, your (and Bryan Schools’) Hello Kitty dream flight is back and ready to board. Now if you will excuse us, we have to take the incredibly cute airsick bag and go throw up some rainbows.

That is not a euphemism.

It be a muuuuu-tiny aboard the waterless seas

People get nickeled and dimed left and right. This happens to everyone (seriously hotels? I have to pay a bed tax?), no matter who they are or what they do, and it’s never fun. As such, some of the offenders need to be aware that a revolution could be at hand.

They also might want to be aware that the revolution could come from their very own employees.

John Carney of CNBC was on a flight to Los Angeles. After being served a horrendously priced chicken sandwich, he was given a free beer. Awesome! Then he was given another free beer. Doubly awesome! And when a woman asked to buy a bottle of win, but it was given to her free of charge, that’s amazing! Factor in other passengers getting items gratis and you’ve got one nice flight.

It would appear that miniature or covert mutiny had been implemented by airline employees potentially tired of being yelled at by angry customers. It’s understandable. Is it against the law? Probably. But hey, just having a screaming baby to deal with rather than a screaming baby and a screaming old man is always the better of the two.

The skies are getting friendlier

Women, so it is said, are people too. It is important that we menfolk treat them as equals, otherwise they’ll do something crazy like ban alcohol again. In Spain, it’s no different.

Flight attendants for Air Comet, which is also probably the name for a Nerf gun, have gone for nine months without pay. They’re not happy about it for obvious reasons, and they want people to pay attention to them. So naturally, they have posed for a nude calendar–three months into the year–and are selling it to get people informed about their situation, if you know what we mean.

Take that, Air Comet! You can’t just use flight attendants as objects!

That is one rich appetite

We’ve given you many stories in the past of food that’s so expensive, you’d have to take out a second mortgage just to have the chance to dine on it. But some people are just so money hungry that they’re … well … hungry for money.

A man flying in Europe won 10,000 euros on the flight via a scratch card. That’s pretty frickin’ amazing. Per the company’s rules, all he had to do was collect the money from the company running the competition once the plane had landed and was on the ground. That’s pretty easy to do, right?

Wrong. And how dare you for thinking otherwise.

The man reportedly became frustrated with this simple set of rules and then began eating his ticket. This, in turn, caused the ticket (and the subsequent large sum of money) to become null and void. The money is now going to a charity. The man only wanted the money to be with him at that very moment. How hard is that to understand?

While it’s good that the money will be going to a good cause, still-what a moron.

We can’t recommend joining the club

Have you seen the stewardesses on flights lately? Night flights and sleep masks have never been a better pair of ideas.

You know who else shares that opinion? Richard Branson, owner of Virgin Atlantic Airways. But that’s probably more because the idea has begun to be forced upon him. Of course, you’d have the idea forced upon you too if you lost a bet.

Richard Branson and Tony Fernandes, owner of AirAsia, have recently decided to host F1 racing teams, and in the spirit of competition and being gajillionaires, the two have decided that whoever’s team finishes worst than the other, the owner will work as a stewardess (not a steward, mind you) on the winner’s airline.

We can’t wholeheartedly recommend following suit by taking part in a bet like Branson did, mainly due to we just don’t look that good at all in a dress (though Rick Snee does look absolutely fabulous in a shiny pair of pumps).

XxAmercnAirlynzXx has added you!

Brendan Fraser IS the American Way.There are certain companies that we expect to not be “with it.” In fact, if those companies tried to rebrand themselves as “hip” or “edgy,” we would be more concerned than relieved.

One of those are airlines, but they don’t know that yet. A couple are now using social media to “reach fans” and address complaints.

JetBlue uses Twitter to respond to people complaining to porn spambots about their delayed flights. Amazingly for an airline that’s only one step above riding with free-range chickens, JetBlue only has one communications employee running their “Here’s a coupon, dawg” service.

American Airlines has a fan page on Facebook. Yes, you can now add the Big AA to your friendlist, presumably so they’ll tell all their other fans to read your blog. Be sure to compliment them on their big exposé on suede leather jackets in American Way, their award-winning in-flight magazine.

Just a reminder to airlines, energy drink chemists and politicians: it’s not social networking if you’re advertising on it. Then it’s just another way to receive spam AND diminish your reputation.

The UK continues fight against Decepticon menace; gets messed up

NERRRRRRRDDDDSSSS!Great Britain is a country that’s not exactly a stranger to controversy. They’ve always had a bit of bad luck in the past, what with the football hooligans, chavs and the whole bad teeth thing. And vinegar on potato chips? Whoa! Anyone that gave the world that should be held on trial. As such, it should be no surprise that they’re trying clean up their image. First they give way to Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg. Then they begin to deep-fry anything and everything. The latest step? Stopping the Decepticon menace and any and all forms of their vile propaganda!

Except … they kind of messed up along the way, mainly for two reasons. The nerd reason is that the individual on the shirt was Optimus Prime. He’s an Autobot, which are the good robots. The other reason, and is probably the more legitimate of the two was voiced by the individual who had been stopped at the airport, Brad Jayakody:

“It’s a cartoon robot with a gun as an arm. What was I going to do, use the shirt to pretend I have a gun?”

Seriously people.