Take it from Snee: How to avoid terrorism

So, I was off last week. What you may not realize is that I was off from my mild-mannered job, too. (By day, I am not the debonair man of Internet taste and karate that you admire.)

When I returned–with their blessing–to work on Monday, I discovered two reference materials in my inbox:

  1. The latest guide to surviving hurricanes from the NOAA.
  2. This year’s Joint Chiefs of Staff Anti-terrorism Guidebook.

This week’s column is not about hurricane safety. As someone who lives close to the Tennessee border and an entire state away from the Atlantic, hurricanes are no joke to this funny guy. If a hurricane ever made landfall and didn’t downgrade to a tropical storm this far inland, then it is time to enjoy my last orgy on Earth.

No, it’s about terrorism and–if you don’t like it–how to avoid it. Continue reading Take it from Snee: How to avoid terrorism

Fox News finally has a true online rival

It took nearly 10 years since they exploded on the New York scene, but Al-Qaida has finally gotten their particular brand of propaganda translated into the English language.

The terrorist group–accept no substitutes–launched their English language Web ‘zine, Inspire, on Tuesday. They’ve even taken a note from infidel fashion magazines with their feature article, “How to Make a Bomb in the Kitchen of Your Mom.”

(Unlike Maxim, it’s not a clever title about impregnating MILFs, but literally about making bombs with common kitchen items … though they belong to your mom and you shouldn’t know how to use them if you’re a fundiemoron.)

We’d like to welcome Al-Qaida to the Internet, and wish nothing them nothing but our thoroughly CIA-investigated best!