The undead hit America’s freezer

There are a lot of things that one can find fascinating about Alaska. Its pristine state makes it a popular tourist attraction these days. But it’s not just for the living.

It is with shock that this blog reports zombies took over Fairbanks, Alaska yesterday. While we are not sure where they came from, or why they chose Fairbanks (Anchorage is much nicer), but there they were, walking through town in one of the daringest displays we have seen yet from the undead.

“There will be snack time at the cemetery,” Tarah Sickels told the group of about 20 zombies, who proceeded to moan for brains and clamor slowly toward the Golden Heart Plaza.

The horror. The horror.

The moose is loose

In Alaska, wildlife is everywhere and the terrain is more untamed than tamed, so Alaska State Troopers are used to dealing with just about anything. However, let us not forget that animals are crafty, crafty creatures hellbent on destroying mankind.

One state trooper was driving along the road one night when something, later found to be a moose, fell from the sky. The moose narrowly missed the cop’s car, dying on impact with the ground. According to officials, the moose had fallen off a cliff above the road by accident.

This blog continues to be perplexed at Alaska’s cover-up attempt in what is clearly a kamikaze attack on the state’s finest. We all know the real story. As we learned earlier, stay away from moose at all costs.

(Suggested by many)