Tag: Albert Einstein

Thinking you’re Einstein may make you an Einstein

If you want to be smarter, all you need to do is see yourself as Albert Einstein, according to a recent study.

In a recent study, people pictured themselves as the famed physicist with some help from virtual reality. Wearing a body suit and VR headset, the test subjects saw themselves as Albert Einstein, and it turned out that they did better on cognitive tests because of it. Simply seeing themselves as someone smarter actually made them smarter.

These people were then mocked by people who saw themselves as jocks.

Einstein’s brain brings the boys to the yard

Only Einstein could explain Kelis’ lyrics.

After Albert Einstein died, his brain was removed, photographed and dissected to discover if it had any properties that made it more likely to make Newton his bitch. And, just to drive the point home that Einstein was better than other scientists, the doctors who gathered this data managed to lose the most important photos and brain samples in human history.

Fortunately, 14 of the photos have recently been found. They show that, on the surface, Einstein’s brain was like yours or mine. But, inside, he was packing extraordinary prefrontal, somatosensory, primary motor, parietal, temporal and occipital cortices. In fact, his prefrontal cortex was massive, which is surprising when you consider his small dancer feet. It was so bulky that Einstein could crack walnuts with his mind … if he were able to remove and swing that cortex like a cudgel.

So, there you go. Einstein’s brain was the total package: brains and brawn. Now, give him your lunch money, freshmen physics students.

Her algebra is off the hook!

The Guys would like to wish a very happy birthday to one very smart lady.

Born today in 1882 in the Bavarian town of Erlagen, she would go on to to make groundbreaking contributions to abstract algebra and theoretical physics. Albert Einstein would later describe her as the most important woman in the history of mathematics.

She may have died in 1935, but we think this little German adding machine can still solve for sex. We put it to you, Internet:

Keeping an eye on ghoulish figures

Zombies! They claim they only want brains, but we know the truth. The “brrraaaaaaaaaaaaains” bit is an act; they’d rather have what’s in our pants.

And by that, we mean money. (What were you thinking?)

Forbes Magazine just listed this year’s top dead earners, 13 of which earned a combined $194 million dollars this past year.

Elvis was number one, of course, earning $52 million, presumably in velvet painting sales.

Charles Schulz was number two with $33 million, thanks to a huge back catalog of Snoopy merchandise (and the occasional other Peanuts character product).

And our old buddy, Heath Ledger — a zombie finance newbie (a z00mbie) — had an impressive $20 million year, grabbing the undead celebrity bronze.

Honorable mentions include Albert Einstein, Aaron Spelling, Dr. Seuss, John Lennon (who didn’t care about possessions until zombification), Andy Warhol, Marilyn Monroe, Steve McQueen, Paul Newman (another z00mbie), James Dean and Marvin Gaye.

Tupac Shakur failed to make this year’s issue because, as Dr. Snee explained, that’s how iron lungs work.