Tagged: alcohol

| Filed under Booze News, It Must Be Science!

Scientists turn CO2 into booze

There are people who don’t believe in science, much less global warming. Perhaps they can be persuaded by learning that we can fight global warming and get drunk at the same time.

A group of scientists at the Energy Department’s Oak Ridge National Laboratory in Tennessee (your tax dollars at work!) have accidentally figured out how to turn carbon dioxide into ethanol. Carbon dioxide is a greenhouse gas, it’s the “carbon” in “carbon emissions.” Ethanol is the sciencey word for alcohol–you know, hootch. Of course, these eggheads see their discovery as a way to create cleaner burning fuel for our cars. But what it can really be used for is drinking. Cars emit all sorts of pollution and greenhouse gases. Drunk people don’t, unless you count beer farts.

Let’s save the planet by turning CO2 into booze. That’s a solution we can all drink to.

| Filed under Booze News, It Must Be Science!

Your single friends are all drunks, science says

It’s a well-worn comedic trope that your significant other drives you to drink. But what that may not actually be the reality.

According to a new study, your single friends drink way more than you and your partner. A study of same-sex twins found that those who are in a relationship kind of cut back on the hootch, compared to their single doppelgangers. That means that you’re ruining the fun for your significant other, which might be OK, because that means you can go full steam ahead and know that you’ve got a designated driver.

So if you’re in a relationship and you’re miserable, it’s probably because you’re spending way too much time sober.

| Filed under Booze News

Bad news: Booze ingredients running low

It’s August, which means winter seasonal beers are just a few weeks away. But it also means pumpkin beers will be hitting shelves any day now. But it’s not good news for pumpkin beer lovers, they’re running low on pumpkins.

For the second year in a row, American brewers report that they are having trouble finding enough orange gourds to make the beer that people either love or compare to Hitler. It seems pumpkin demand is so high that farmers aren’t able to keep up with demand, plus, some farmers, such as those in the Richmond, Virginia area, suffered a bad pumpkin crop this year.

And in Europe, things aren’t looking so good for fans of bubbly. The Champagne region of France, which is coincidentally where champagne is made, has had a rough grape-growing year. Vineyards have suffered from rot, mildew and frost. That means it’s going to be a bad year for your favorite New Year’s beverage.

We don’t mean to be alarmist, but now might be the time to stock up on alcohol, you know, before everyone else cleans out the stores.

| Filed under Booze News, War on Animals

Share a drink with tiny primates

Ever get drunk and climb up somewhere high? Turns out we’re not the only primates that do that.

You can add slow lorises and aye-ayes to the list of animals you can drink under the table. Researchers  found the small primates have a penchant for booze. The animals they studied showed a clear preference for nectar that had been fermented, over the lower-grade or non-alcoholic stuff.

Scientists say this shows that the ability to process alcohol played a part in primate evolution. That means drinking is in your blood.

| Filed under Booze News, It Must Be Science!

Science: Drink your way to a happy marriage

If you’re like The Guys, you’ve got two loves in your life: your significant other and your drink — and usually not in that order. Science now has an indicator of whether you two can go the distance. What is it? You both need to drink as you get older.

According to an analysis of American couples over 50, dissatisfaction with spouses was more common if both parties didn’t drink the same amount. It appears to be especially true in women. Researchers found that couples that drink together (or don’t drink at all, but that’s not a real choice) were more likely to express satisfaction with their spouse. It backs up the findings of an earlier study. Scientists don’t know why, but it seems obvious that you care less about your significant other’s annoying traits when you’re getting crocked.

So, drink together for the kids.

| Filed under Booze News

Booze ice cream is finally a reality

We’ve all added vodka to a Slurpee or made ourselves a Jack and Coke float. (No? Just us?) But what if you could enjoy a cool treat this summer that also give you a buzz. The future is here.

Booze is making its way into ice cream. Real booze, not just booze flavoring. The latest trend in frozen foods is alcoholic ice cream. You can now even find popsicles and sorbet with significant amounts of alcohol. The downside, of course, is the government. Because the feds are pretty strict on keeping booze and food sold separately, there are a lot of hurdles boozy ice cream producers have to overcome. That makes it hard to find, and possibly illegal in some states.

So, if you find any of these delicious treats, please send some to The Guys. We’re famished.

| Filed under Booze News

Booze bans kill people, study says

It’s 2016, and yet for some reason there are parts of the country that don’t serve alcohol, and many of them aren’t even in Utah. And now we know that local bans on booze have a real cost of human lives.

Researchers at the University of California, San Francisco examined hospital admission data across the U.S., and found that dry counties counties have a much higher rate of heart attacks and congestive heart failure. That means that being sober is bad for your heart. Wet counties had liver problems and a heart problem called atrial fibrillation, but this is America, your risk of a heart attack is far worse than some lesser disease.

Once again, make sure you’re drinking your daily recommended dose of booze. It could save your life.

| Filed under Booze News

U.S. shows the world how to drink

Captain America represents the best drinker in all of us.
Captain America represents the best drinker in all of us.

America prides itself on not being the rest of the world. Ask anyone who’s never traveled and they’ll tell you that the U.S. is the greatest country in the world. Raise a glass, fellow Americans, today we are truly special.

According to a new study, the world decided to cut back a bit on drinking, leaving the U.S. to keep the party going on its own as the only country to drink more. A worldwide decline in alcohol sales hasn’t been seen in recent memory, and the U.S. proudly kept such a tragedy from occurring in 2015, as booze sales rose by near 1 billion liters over the previous year.

If the rest of the world wants to cut back on the drinky-drinky, that’s just more beer for us.

| Filed under Booze News, Sex Sells

Science: Your drunk sperm will affect your baby

One of the worst parts about being pregnant, aside from knowing that one day your genitals will explode, is the months on end of sobriety. Sure, the cool doctors say you can have a glass of wine every now and then, but that’s like having a bite of cake while everyone else has their own slice. Turns out that dudes can also negatively affect their unborn children by drinking.

According to researchers at Georgetown University, your drinking behavior may affect your child well before you even get around to making him or her. All that drinking must do something to your swimmers, because there’s mounting evidence that it can increase a baby’s risk of fetal alcohol spectrum disorder.

So the new game plan for making a baby is to abstain from alcohol, but get her to drink because she won’t be able to later on, and you know how red wine gets her going.

| Filed under Booze News

Synthetic wine ushers in bright new future for mankind

Out of all the drinkers out there, wine snobs are the worst (followed closely by beer snobs and mixologists). They are so concerned about the wine they are ingesting, and making sure they correctly identify all of the correct notes, and agree with other elite wine drinkers on what does and doesn’t taste good, that they forget that it’s just booze.

That’s why we’re happy to learn that you can make wine without grapes, yeast, barrels, aging or anything else that you think goes into making wine. Ava Winery in California has made a synthetic wine using the correct amounts of water, chemical flavorings and ethanol. By doing this, you can make a wine with the same flavor profile as anything else out there.

Or you could just buy a box of wine and get over yourself.