Did somebody say …… wood?

Okay, the obligatory Dave Coulier reference has been done. It won’t have to be made again for a whole year.

HOWEVER, if you live in Peru, you know what you might have to make again, and in less than a year’s time? Your wooden house. No joke.

The catfish are coming, the catfish are coming! Yes, a new species of catfish has been found in northeastern Peru. These creatures are fond of wood (just like your mom), or least, the scrapings of wood. They consume said scrapings with their nightmarish spoon teeth. Oh, and they grow to be around two feet in length. That’s more than a third of me!

People, I shouldn’t have to explain to you just how critical it is for us to eliminate these creatures right now. The sooner they’re taken care of, the better, because if we don’t, an untold number of native Peruvians that have built their houses literally on the river may soon find themselves in wetter living conditions than they imagined.