He went to Amsterdam, and all I got was this lousy computer virus

For those of you who have been eagerly awaiting to have sex with a robot, there is now a projected date to mark on your calendar: 2050. That’s according to two Victoria University researchers, “Management professor Ian Yeoman, a futurist with an interest in tourism, and sexologist Michelle Mars.”

The two published a paper in the journal Futures, “Robots, Men And Sex Tourism,” in which they theorize a sex club in Amsterdam named Yub-Yum will offer up flawless android prostitutes to Red Light District tourists. Moreover, they believe that the 10,000 Euro encounters will be guilt- and disease-free as the customers have technically not cheated on their real-life partners and the machines will be routinely hosed down and made of a bacteria-resistant material.

What has not been accounted for is when the androids are retired after years of unspeakable service. That’s where The Guys’ moonlighting services as futurists come in: Blade Runner Camp. (Patent: us.)

All your phones are belong to Google

Not content to simply rule the entire Internet, Google, the beneficent giant (think one part Microsoft, one part hippies, three parts Ed Grimley and four parts Steven Hawking) wants your phone. Well, that is, if you’re a T-Mobile customer.

Google announced on Monday that they would pair up with T-Mobile to use their Android operating system on the HTC Dream, also known as T-Mobile G1. Yes, the Googlephone is alive. And no, it can’t let you do that Hal. The first honest to God competitor to the iPhone, complete with open source OS, is not pretty. It’s almost akin to a Nintendo DS/Sony PSP hybrid, along with a hint of Treo, Blackberry, Sidekick and iPhone-at best. But Lord have mercy, it’ll sell craploads, as it’s expected to by year’s end.