Monkeys, rats, bears breaking into buildings

You can lock your doors and shut your windows. You can have the best home security system that money can buy. Animals will still find a way into your house. Will you be ready when they do?

The Indian government found itself under attack when two monkeys made their way inside a government building, sending public servants scrambling for safety. Luckily no one was injured, and the monkeys were chased off by security guards. But many suspect this was simply a probe of defenses ahead of a real attack.

In Dallas, Texas, customers at Chipotle had their meals ruined by something other than salmonella. Witnesses reported rats, (or mice, because no one in Texas can tell the difference) falling out of the ceiling and scurrying around the restaurant. But because they had been gorging themselves on Chipotle, the rodents were slow-moving and easily rounded up for questioning.

And finally, a Montana man took a nap in his home and found that while he slept a bear had broken in and taken two dumps on his living room floor and left. That’s just mean.

Warrior of the Week: Some British Columbian guy

When you go out into the forest, you know the enemy is watching. They are everywhere. From the birds reporting on your position to the mosquitoes harassing you so you can’t make a clear decision. However, we all know the risks of running into a wild animal, you know, the big kind.

That’s exactly what happened to a man from British Columbia (which is neither British, nor Colombian) last week. The 21-year old man was trying to hitchhike when he ran into a cougar, which he quickly decided did not want to give him a lift. The cougar watched him from a perch above and followed him as he walked. He called his girlfriend, who called police, as the cougar got closer. Finally, the man broke into a run and the cougar gave chase.

The ferocious cougar pounced on the man in an instant. It didn’t look good for our hero, but he grabbed a rock and bashed the cougar over the head until it ran off. Get this: the man was unhurt.