Take it from Snee: LOLSmokers

The FDA unveiled a series of new warnings that will go on cigarette packs. Instead of the text that tobacco scientists concocted back in the ’60s to keep LBJ feelin’ a-OK, they’re using graphics, which have lowered smoking numbers in other countries.

Yes, yes. But have you been to other countries? They have dances and songs and holidays where they break eggs over each others’ heads.

When it comes to the school dance that is human culture, Americans are the jaded loner smoking in bathroom. You think some graphics are gonna get us out onto the dance floor for the Electric Slide? Pfft, fat chance. It’s stupid, you’re stupid and our nonconformist lungs would be winded by “woogie-woggie-woggie!”

Still, let’s take a look at what the government’s gonna throw at 500 years of an awesome tradition, from John Smith to Kirsten Dunst. (Warning: some of these are gross.) Continue reading Take it from Snee: LOLSmokers

If only teens loved something more than smoking …

The Southern Nevada Health District has discovered the key to getting teens to stop smoking, picking up where tobacco companies have failed. (Which is surprising because those guys are marketing geniuses!)

The District has employed Vegas-style ads, using sex, booze and possibly Siberian tigers to convince youth that smoking is not sexy and, if you can’t get laid, then there’s always vodka.

Of course, some less successful anti-smoking campaigners have a problem with this. Smoke-Free Gaming chairwoman Stephanie Steinberg believes the ads just create a new problem: sexy, easy teenagers with tasty breath.

Steinberg’s right: unless these ads teach teens and young adults to eat their vegetables, volunteer with the elderly, spend a year abroad, go to church and quit smoking, then they might as well stay out of the discussion.