Next we can spread rumors about them

Most animals don’t understand English (in fact, many speak Spanish), so we need to find other means of communication with them. Luckily for us, communicating during a time of war is as simple as a barrel of a gun. But sometimes it just won’t do to shoot the animal in question.

Such is the case in Colorado, where wildlife officers in Estes Park are dealing with a large crop of aggressive male elk. They can’t simply shoot all of them; what state can pay for all those bullets in this economy? So instead, they are doing the next best thing: sawing off their antlers.

Sometimes humiliating the enemy is more satisfying than killing him.