People in glass bathhouses

Rick S@ntorum,* whose three-step policy plan consists of:

Step One: Banning homosexuality and abortion with federal laws.

Step Two: […]

Step Three: Profit!

launched an attack on Herman Cain’s conservatism today after Pizza Godfather Cain told CNN that — while he personally disagrees with abortion and would carry any baby inside of him to term — he would not allow that opinion to dictate policy if he were elected president.

“The government shouldn’t be trying to tell people everything to do, especially when it comes to social decisions that they need to make,” said Cain.

S@ntorum pounced onto that, telling the Associated Press that Cain is misleading voters about his conservative credentials:

“It’s basically the position that just about every pro-choice politician has in America. I don’t know too many pro-choice politicians who are for abortion, who want more abortions … but they say the decision is a choice the government shouldn’t be involved in.”

We asked an even more conservative person about S@ntorum’s comments, and he felt that Rick, too, is misleading voters about his conservative credentials. He pointed out that S@ntorum has yet to speak out against shellfish, campaigning on Sundays and tolerating the sight of menstruating women.

* has a “zero profanity” posting policy in an effort to keep our inanity safe for work.

SG News Flash!!!!1OMFG!!!

The Guys have just received these news bulletins from CNN and the AP about this election’s Democratic Primary.

You’re probably thinking, “These are news flashes?” Don’t be so dismissive. Unlike all those other “Obama won, Clinton stays in race” stories, these were dated June 3, 2008. Any other story with the same exact subject matter, content and headline — but an earlier date  — is not a hot scoop.

Carry on, if you can.

UPDATE (6/3/2008):
CNN has updated their “Clinton refuses to concede” story of the day with news that she will accept a VP nomination. However, she also wanted to make it very clear that she will still not concede, which makes up over 3/4 of the story.

But kudos to CNN for at least changing the headline.