Tag: apocalypse

Take it from Snee: Look out! The world’s ending!

Not really. You'd be spread out all over the place.

Way back in 1999, I understood that the world might end at 12 a.m., New Year’s Day, 2000. That made sense: computers would launch nukes to prevent the return of 1900.

I wasn’t entirely against it because, well, isn’t dying worth avoiding the Titanic, two world wars and disco? If I could trust a computer to provide my pornography, this was an easy decision on who to trust.

Unfortunately, I woke up in the newly-minted Year 2000.

It wasn’t unfortunate because straw hats and ragtime had returned, but because I was hung-over and on several husbands’ to-beat-up lists for hitting on their wives. (C’mon, the world was ending/I was 18.)

From January 1, 2000 and two Excedrin on, I lived. I went to school, helped start a Web site and got married. Little did I know that I did all this on borrowed time, that the world will end before I turn 30 … well, 32, and in one of several ways. Continue reading Take it from Snee: Look out! The world’s ending!

Remote control robot cop still better than mall security

We are now one step closer toward a robot apocalypse and it’s all thanks to a Japanese robot firm Tmsuk Co. and Alacom Co.

You Japanese panda jerks.

They have developed a robot named T-34 that protects things like businesses from robbers when the establishments are closed. The way this “robo-cop” works is by detecting intruders using movement sensors, and then alerting the robot’s master by cell phone of the intruder’s arrival. The master can then operate the robot in real-time and launch a net that traps the intruder; also it can move as fast as 6 mph, which is way faster than most of our readers some of the guys some people on the internet can run.

According to the firms,

“We have basically designed the robot for corporate use and we expect private security companies to buy them instead of using human guards, but there will also be those tailored for use in homes,”

These firms almost certainly spent a lot of money developing the T-34, with its cell phone remote, sensors, and (relatively) quick speeds. But seriously, using a net to apprehend someone? That’s just plain ridiculous! How hard can it be to escape from a net?

  1. The robot isn’t Spider-Man.
  2. The net isn’t sticky or anything.
  3. We’re not fish, Japan.

Though just its ability to inform the authorities and confirm a break-in is good enough for most applications. I’m just saying, is all. Still, in order to save face against our future robot overlords, I will singlehandedly show them where plenty of ugly flesh-humans locate. The first ones being probably Japan, you know, for the whole “creation of the robot apocalypse” thing. Hey, it’s my life over yours.