Tag: army corps of engineers

And now, another moment in ‘What not to say’

“On an army base” edition:

  • “The secret ingredient is poison” – mess hall head cook
  • “Who wants to play knife fight?” – boot camp attendee
  • “Hey, let’s smack this crappy fellow private with a sock filled with soap.” – other boot camp attendee
  • “So, I’ve got this idea for a plague…” – research scientist
  • “Wasn’t Stop-Loss such a great movie?” – Army recruiter
  • “Joining Al Qaeda and declaring jihad on the United States of America is looking really good right now.” – 4 star general
  • “It’s probably a bomb.” – package courier

Sandboxes = very late term abortions

Hey there, parents!

Do you have a lot of money? Do you hate your kids? Could you stomach living in Florida?

Then have we and the Army got a deal for you! For a half-million dollars, you can live within spitting distance of Disney World on a former Army jeep range. Every yard is a dynamite lottery, thanks to undocumented, unexploded ordinance!

Just send your kids outside with a treasure map, and then relive the glory days at nearby Pleasure Island!

And if you’d like to get back down to your “playing weight,” then go for a jog and blow those extra pounds away. Just think of Bouncing Betty as your government-provided hot-blooded trainer.