And you thought the 70s were hairy …

Gym rats: no matter how hard you work out, the world’s most dangerous exercise is long extinct. Having sex with Neanderthals and Denisovans made your ancestors stronger, so long as it didn’t kill them.

This is business news my liver could love

Kirin is not one of my favorite beers. It’s not too dry and it’s not too dark, and while it’s not the perfect amber that I usually order, it still gets the job done. I tend to prefer my beer a bit heavier, along the lines of Killian’s or a Sam Adams (Summer Ale FTW) but it’ll do in a pinch. I’m also not too particularly fond of Suntory whiskey, though I admit that I rarely get a chance to partake in mainly due to it’s not exactly something that every liquor store carries in stock either. God knows mine doesn’t.

But, maybe that’ll soon change.

It was announced recently that Kirin and Suntory have begun talks, hoping to merge the two companies and form the fifth largest food company in the world, which puts the company in league with the likes of Kraft and Pepsico Inc. How is that possible? Kirin actually owns a number of companies which distribute food and alcohol throughout Australia and Asia.

While the deal isn’t solid yet, Kirin is already working with Suntory by expanding distribution and procurement. This means that you’ll probably be seeing more of that Japanese whiskey making it’s way stateside in the future. Maybe. Hopefully.

Let’s face it, it’s tough to beat Vietnam

When it comes to killing off dolphins, few do it better than the southeast Asians. Some of you may remember all the way back to January 2008, when some fishermen from Bangladesh caught a rare Ganges River dolphin in the Ganges River (of all places and beat it to death, then dragged it through the streets.

Now, it seems our, um, “allies” in Vietnam are on the case. We don’t know what exactly they are doing to their dolphins in the Mekong River, but whatever it is, it’s working. Environmental groups that hate humanity say that there are as few as 64 of them left.

Good job, guys! We’re are on the verge of yet another victory. Keep up the good work and we’ll see you when this whole crazy war is over.

MasterChugs Theater: ‘Kung Fu Hustle’

Stephen Chow might just be the saviour of action cinema. Anyone who caught his previous film, the deliriously wonderful Shaolin Soccer, will know what to expect: martial arts mayhem meets the vicious comic brilliance of vintage Tex Avery cartoons. No gag is too cheesy, no special effect too extreme. That is the wonder and awe of Kung Fu Hustle. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Kung Fu Hustle’

Shrimp are just plain evil

Shocking news this morning, (from what this blog assumes, we just glanced at the story because we were so shocked,) as CNN reports that workers are being abused in the shrimp industry. According to the story, workers are kept in slave-like conditions and are forced to do their shrimp master’s bidding.

This blog takes a stand on human slavery. It may not be a popular view, but we are against it. We are even more against it when it involves animals enslaving humans. Now, humans enslaving animals is perfectly acceptable (hello, milk machines!) and often encouraged.

Folks, there are people in Asia being enslaved by shrimp. This blog can think of only one man for the job.