Tag: athens

Bad dog! Bad anti-authoritarian dog!

You’re probably already aware that Greece is poised to economically ruin Europe, but what you may not realize is that their animals are involved.

Riots have broken out in Athens over an austerity bill that reins in public spending while raising taxes, perceived to target the poor and middle class almost exclusively. These riots have lead to clashes between armored police officers and young people with one very bad dog.

Sausage — or as he’s listed in The Illiad, Loukanikos — has tripped police officers down stairs and currently has charges pending for biting at least one person. And the worst part? He’s homeless, meaning he’s definitely engaged in class warfare.

Sausage is emblematic of the Greek problem: instead of euthanizing stray dogs, the Athens municipality neuters them and puts them on the Kibble dole. They even get free healthcare.

So, congratulations, Greece. You could have added Sausage to your gyros, but now you have to fight him in the streets, and the rest of the world will have to pay for it.

WHAT DID WE LOSE? OUR CASE!

SeriouslyGuys like to think of ourselves as very, very world-reknowned. I mean, we have to be in order to get you, our adoring audience and fans, the very best in news. We also like to think of ourselves as very attentive and determined. After all, who else would have brought you the news about the epic “Lesbos v. Lesbians” in May? What site would update you in June when Lesbos got their time in court? Certainly not the official Lilith Fair site, I can tell you that. And what site gives the final piece in this saga? SeriouslyGuys, that’s who.

Speaking of which, yes, it would seem that the case has finally come to a close. A court in Athens recently ruled that a word could not truly define the identity of those that reside in that area, and as such, lesbians was a fine enough word to describe gay groups. Also, the cost of the word lesbian is approximately $366.20 USD. Key words were spoken by Vassilis Chirdaris, head of G.L.U.G. (no, I swear to God that I’m not making up that acronym):

This is a good decision for lesbians everywhere

Personally, I’ll definitely agree with him. I’m hard pressed to think up of anything that goes along with “TOTALLY HOT ______ ACTION”.