Just because Troy says he’s so rich that he has his own personal ATM, it doesn’t actually mean that he is. Trust us, he’s probably still paying off that excavator he owns.
Of all the things you can do with a corpse, the “Weekend at Bernie’s” runs a close second to … well, ask your parents. And when Robert Young and Mark Rubinson found their buddy Jeffery Jarrett dead in his home, they (allegedly) knew that Jeff had just delivered them a godsend.
According to police, the two picked Jarrett up off of whatever he died on (please say it was the toilet, please please please) and loaded him into an SUV. They then used Jarrett’s money to pay for drinks and food at two locations, dropped him back off at home — because he’d obviously had enough — and then went back out to a strip club.
At this point, once they had ditched the body, you could argue that they were just taking advantage of their friend’s death to profit. But, explain this: when they got to the strip club, they withdrew $400 from the ATM with his debit card.
You may think you’re tight with your friends, but are you close enough to create a death pact with them, including the PIN to your bank account?
Hark! It’s time to stake your claim! Quick, to the ATM!
A Vegas ATM found at the Golden Nugget Hotel and Casino will now be dispensing gold rather than straight-cash-homie from your account … if you have that large of an amount, that is.
“The GOLD to go” machine spits out 24-karat gold bars from 1 to 250 grams. And it can vend gold coins and bars with the Golden Nugget logo. The cost is constantly updated to reflect the ever-changing gold market. A computer inside the ATM keeps up with current prices.
The current cost at the ATM is more than $1,000 per ounce. Easily accessible for everyone. Surely. Oh, and to sweeten the deal, gold can’t be exchanged for chips at the hotel.
Having watched far too much CNN Headlines News over the past decade, I can only hope that the voice of the machine is an unemotional British woman. Or Pete Rose.