Tag: austin

God and dogs don’t mix

You know who’s been quiet in the War on Animals? God. That’s who. Sure, he created the animals and gave us domain over them, but what does he think now that they are trying to overrun us?

We’re still waiting for the Big Guy to open up the heavens and root us on, but until then, we are convinced he’s on our side. Unfortunately, the species traitors think he’s on their side, too. One church in Austin, Texas (figures) is even inviting dogs, man’s alleged best friend, to worship with their owners.

We all know that keep a pet is perfectly acceptable. They are servants and let us learn about our enemy. But bringing them to church is wrong. Animals have no soul, have no concept of a higher being, and cannot get into heaven, no matter what the movies might say. Dogs attending our services just gives the false notion that we can work this war out.

It’s not that simple.

Brain-eaters have officially hit Austin

You see it in movies, you hear about it here at SG, but it looks like the zombie infestation has hit the U.S., not surprisingly, the scourge has hit Austin, Texas first.

The good news in this madness is that the city government had a plan and launched into action to warn commuters. Construction signs, the ones that usually have construction or traffic information scrolling on them, warned drivers of zombies ahead and advised leaving the area.

In a cover-up most likely perpetrated by the federal government, officials are playing it off as a hoax. They claim the signs were hacked and there was never any zombie threat. Yeah right, we’ll see who’s right right when we’re reloading our shotguns in defense against the zombie mobs.