Tag: ayatollah

Ayatollah to stop using black magic already!

Ali Khamenei, the grand poobah of Iran, isn’t too keen on President Ahmadinejad at the moment. The president had decided to not officially support Khamenei’s decision to reinstate a minister that Ahmadinejad had originally made resign. As such, Ali has issued a public statement that the president had better get with the program or he. Is. Outta here!

In almost as many words.

Now, normally, that would be pretty interesting news to hear, but for SG, well, The Guys need that certain something.

The rift between the two men grew when the president staged an 11-day walkout in an apparent protest at Khamenei’s decision.

No, that’s not it.

Although Khamenei is not constitutionally allowed to intervene in cabinet appointments, an unwritten law requires all officials to always abide by the supreme leader without showing any opposition.

Nnnnnnh, it almost seems like it’s missing something.

Supporters of Khamenei say that Ahmadinejad is surrounded by “deviants” in his inner circle, including his controversial chief of staff, Esfandiar Rahim Mashaei, who wants to undermine the involvement of clerics in Iran’s politics. Mashaei and his allies have recently been accused of using supernatural powers and invoking djinns (spirits) in pursuing the government’s policies.

Bingo. SG sweet spot achieved.

Take it from Snee: And go cry home to mama

Look at that: she can't even grow that middle part of her mustache.I normally stay out of the affairs of other countries, especially when it concerns cultural taboos. I mean, I live in a state where it’s illegal to see a stripper’s vagina … unless I take her home. (The industry refers to this as a “to-go box.”) And even when I get her there, I have to churn it all Amish-style, because vibrators are contraband. So, who am I to talk, right?

But, every now and then, one of the hundred or so non-American nations out takes a stance so ludicrous that I have to take notice.

Iran–surprise, surprise–arrested several college students who were protesting their current government. All in all, it’s a normal day at the University of Couscous Online, except that, according to police, these students tore up and burned pictures of current Ayatollah Khamenei and founding Ayatollah Khomeini.

Why would I care? It’s not like I turned my Twitter avatar green or scan Fox News for any excuse to invade Middle Eastern countries. However, I, too, have a little history with “graven images.”

There’s something I learned not too long ago: pictures aren’t real. The camera doesn’t steal your soul, and Back to the Future is impossible. (Not because it’s a movie, but because the paradox that time travel creates makes fourth dimensional regression physically difficult.)

So, if someone attaches that much importance to any picture, they’re retarded. And if they attach that importance to a picture of themselves, then you could drown them with a mirror at the bottom of a pool.

It is with these people in mind that I present the following gallery: You’re an Idiot, Now Go Cry Home to Mama. Continue reading Take it from Snee: And go cry home to mama