Gallup conducted a special poll to confirm whether or not American parents’ preference for boys has changed since the 1940s. It has not.
But, what is fascinating is how those preferences skewed slightly depending on demographics. Younger respondents wanted boys. College-educated people and liberals wanted girls.
And after those genetic dice are rolled and you start to hate your spouse? Divorced parents were more likely to split custody over sons, but couples with daughters were more likely to divorce, period.
What the poll forgot to mention is that, no matter what you get, they will pee on your stuff.
It looks like even babies are starting to let themselves go, according to Dr. John Harrington.
Dr. Harrington has just released research of obese children’s medical records that were gathered by himself and colleagues. They started gaining weight as infants, and 50 percent were overweight by age 2, and 90 percent by 5.
So, parents, if you want to reach your kids before they really pork out, maybe you should scatter some magazines around the house with idealized skinny kids. And make sure to add some passive-aggressive digs like, “Are you sure you want stringed cheese?” and, “It’s amazing how much bigger they make diapers these days.”
In these dire economic times (we leave no dead horses unbeaten), you would think that women would look out for our nation’s best interests. Jobs are scarce, food is expensive and we don’t understand health care. The last thing we need is more babies.
But, what’s the latest numbers? 4,317,000 births in 2007 — the highest since 1957 when America couldn’t stop pushing twin beds together.
Sure, some of you “ladies” out there will say, “But, The Guys, it was 2007! Stocks were at an all-time high! Even my newborn was in on the action!”
Shame on you, E-Trade Baby-Mama. Your lack of forsight has doomed us all. It’s called hindsight and it’s 20/20. Use it (and maybe a free clinic) next time.