Nudism just doesn’t have the draw with the youth like it used to, at least according to one nudist camp in Canada.
In the 1970s, the Van Tan Club in British Columbia boasted a membership of around 150 people. Today, they’re a third of that, and they’re mostly Baby Boomers. Members there say the younger generations just don’t seem to be into nudism like they are. They say young folks could do with some positive messages about their bodies, but the Boomers can’t seem to reach them.
Perhaps the problem is that no one wants to hang out with old naked people.
Fifty years ago, we began a decade that had a lot of crazy things happen during it. It had everything, a nuclear crisis, international political tensions, assassinations, social upheaval, drugs, war and dudes walking on the moon. We look back on that decade and stare in awe of how we made it out, and it has a lasting effect on the U.S. even today.
Historians will point to it as a pivotal decade for the country, and a study in how Americans cope with drastic changes and widespread paranoia (hint: mind-altering drugs and guitars). And the people who came of age during that turbulent time, known as baby boomers, get to look back and say, “I was there.”
Parents. According to conventional wisdom, they know best. But, as you move out — be it for school, work or marriage — ask yourself this: do you know where they are and what they’re doing right now?
Maybe they’re knitting. Or gardening. Or doing it to DVDs full of people with pubic hair. Or — as it’s turning out to be the case — marijuana.
And if you think it’s not your parents, think again. According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (a division of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services), illicit drug use among 50- to 64-year-olds has doubled since 2002.
Still irritated that their grandparents are the Greatest Generation, Baby Boomers have settled for being known as the Highlander Generation, in that
They were old enough to see the movie Highlander in theaters back in 1986.
They cannot die.
That’s what they seem to think, anyway, as over three-quarters of adults over the age of 40 believe that they will not require long-term care as they get older. Getting old? That’s an old person’s game, which, if you ask those same over-40-year-olds, will include nearly everyone else except them individually.
Yes, everyone else is getting older and dying except for you, aging Boomer or Gen X-er. You will be forced to conceal your special gift and harness it until the time of the Gathering, when the few who remain will battle to the last.
And why will you fight? For the Prize, which is to die disappointed at work sooner than you think.
Anti-aging products are a booming industry–as in baby boomers are buying them all up. (If you regret the 10 seconds of your life lost reading that last sentence, too bad. No refunds.) Although none are proven to work as advertised, the cosmetic surgery, hormone replacement, skin care and fitness industries are predicted to “increase from $80 billion now to more than $114 billion by 2015.”
However, not every boomer is falling for “look young quick” schemes. The pinnacle of boomer presidents, Bill Clinton, has become a vegan, proving there’s nothing he won’t do to feel younger, liberal breasts.
In the U.S., we often pride ourselves on living free. We can kind of get dramatic about it sometimes (“Give me liberty or give me death.”), but overall we consider ourselves the greatest country in the world. But little by little, we have seen our country become infused with some very un-free and un-capitalistic points of view. We have been the creeping of socialism. We’ve been hearing a lot about it lately, and our president-elect is about to roll-out his plan for the socialist state.
We’ve heard about every small swing-voting group this election:
The youth vote
Closeted white supremicists
Terrorists (Who knew suicide bombers want health care?)
There’s one tiny group, though, that has been swept under the carpet, ignored for all intents and purposes … until today.
Yes, now the pundits are focused on what’s good for retired Americans, that plucky little band of people over 50, now including some 76 million baby boomers, who decide every election.
If you thought it was the NASCAR dads or the plumbers that counted the most this election, then the news managed to jerk you off this whole time. It was your grandpa that keeps sending you emails about secret Muslims who mattered. Don’t you feel silly for spam blocking him now?
Fortunately, there’s something you can do: support Proposition 268 or, as we’ve nicknamed it, Logan’s Amendment. Logan’s Amendment will send all of the elderly to a fabulous Carousel for the rest of their natural lives, where they will live in bliss until God calls them home.
Sound harsh? OK, well it’s that our you start calling in some birthday favors.