Tag: baggy pants

Welcome to White America

Collinsville, Illinois is a town in America. Statistically, almost 92 percent of its population is white. Located in its town is the world’s largest catsup bottle. Furthermore, Michael Stipe of R.E.M. graduated high school from Collinsville. Recently, the town banned low-riding pants.

Based off the above facts, we can only assume that Collinsville, Illinois, is the whitest town in America, rivaling only some locations in Germany and Australia. Along with that, we suspect that Collinsville is located not too far from Sensible Slacks, Missouri.

We hear that 1997 is preparing to file a lawsuit with the town.

No more pencils, no more tookuses

Thanks to a bill signed by Gov. Mike Beebe, Arkansas’ long statewide nightmare is finally over.

Baggy pants are officially banned from public schools by law, which defines them as clothing that exposes the wearer’s underwear or buttocks.

A few critics in the state legislature that voted against it argued that the bill stymies students’ individual expression. Also, in its mere two days of enactment, the bill has resulted in higher water bills as all plumbers are now banned from approaching within 50 yards of a school zone.