You Missed It: End of 2012 edition

It's how I do my thinking.
It’s how I do my thinking.

Oh, hello there. I’m just here sitting back in my smoking jacket and enjoying a nice whiskey on the rocks (my third). You know, I’ve been thinking a lot about 2012. It really sucked, didn’t it? Stop and think about it for a minute, did anything good happen this year to anyone but Psy? Not really. However, it certainly was a wild, memorable ride. Perhaps it was the looming threat of the end of the world. It could be the heavy buzz I’ve got going, but I feel like looking back on the biggest stories of this year. Grab a drink and join me, won’t you?

January:

Swingin’ Gingrich
Marianne Gingrich made her ex-husband, Newt, look even worse by dropping the bombshell that he wanted to have an open marriage. Apparently this is worse than asking your wife for a divorce when she’s recovering from cancer treatments in the hospital. Mitt Romney didn’t see what the big deal is–you can have more than one wife, right?

Also, they battle Hitler
In a story that can only end well, scientists in New York made “supersoldier” ants. I’m not really sure why this was so important to do, but now there are ants with really large heads. Their heads are so large that they are able to block the entrances to their nest when it comes under attack. Also, they do this really cool shield-throwing trick.

Equal time rule
A year away from inauguration day, and President Barack Obama was out on the campaign trail. He was raising funds, and he’d do just about anything for your money. At The Apollo, he noted that Rev. Al Green was in the audience, and did his own version of “Let’s Stay Together,” well a few bars of it, anyway. And he’s got the chops for it, too. The American public got to hear his pipes more along the campaign trail when he sang “Red Solo Cup” in Missouri. Continue reading You Missed It: End of 2012 edition

You Missed It: Party’s over edition

Can we call it quits with “Gangam Style” already? South Korean rapper Psy seems to be everywhere these days, and really, his pop song got old before Halloween. White people just like any song that has a simple dance tacked to it. By now, he should be releasing his follow-up love ballad or something. Did anyone really think that the next M.C. Hammer would be Korean? If you were busy losing the Powerball jackpot this week, odds are you missed it.

Partying too hard for the feds
Andrew W.K., who once said, “Partying is our best hope for world peace,” was going to be a U.S. cultural ambassador to Bahrain. All of the coordination with the State Department, the flights were booked, it was a done deal. And then State pulled the plug without giving a reason, thereby canceling the party. Bahrain will have to find ways to break their noses on their own. Thanks, Obama.

Meeting a second time
The Disney Channel announced this week that it will be launching a spin-off of the popular 1990s show Boy Meets World, which aired on ABC from 1993 to 2000. They have even gotten Ben Savage and Daniel Fishel, the show’s main couple, to reprise their roles. According to the reports, the show will be called Girl Meets World and focus on Cory and Topanga Matthews’ 13-year-old daughter, as she tries to come to grips with the fact that Mr. Feeny will never leave her family alone.

Lisa Frank is from the DPRK
This week, North Korea discovered unicorns. OK, well they didn’t find the unicorns themselves, but they did find where the unicorns once lived. According to a report from North Korea’s official news agency, researchers have found the lair of the unicorn ridden by King Tongmyong, who reigned a couple centuries before Christ. They figured it out because the words “Unicorn Liar” are etched on the cave. Between this and Kim Jong Un being named The Onion’s sexiest man alive, North Korea’s having a pretty big week.