Tag: batman
Comic book world comes closer to reality
Oh sure, it’s easy enough being poor and needing to panhandle-but one needs to have a license to be a super-hero? Great shades of Civil War!
But it’s true enough. Recently, two men dressed up as Superman and Batman in New York. Alas, their actions were less than heroic. Curt Swan and Marshall Rogers would be most ashamed. The World’s Finest began panhandling on Times Square, where they were approached by a female member of New York’s Finest. When asked if they had the proper identification needed to perform (to which their panhandling was considered a form of), Superman allegedly punched the officer and took off down the street (on his feet, rather than the slipstream of the air), stating “I’m not getting arrested.”
Nonetheless, a team of cops was able to take him down. We’ll call them The Superman Revenge Squad. Oh, and Batman? Not causing any problems, he was let go and proceeded to walk off with a tourist dressed as the Statue of Liberty.
Bruce Wayne: P.I.M.P.
And you thought the Obama-Spidey team-up was big
Sure, reading about Batman or Spider-man, or whatever Japanese crap Chugs reads, can be really entertaining, but let’s face it, you can only watch Peter Parker give Doc Ock a money shot to the sunglasses with web fluid so many times. What if–what if we could watch Secretary of State Hillary Clinton give that money shot instead?
Now you can do just that.
Bluewater Productions, a Washington, D.C. based publisher is releasing a line of comic books (most likely one-shots) about strong, independent females in politics. Supposedly, it’s about their life stories. You can watch each woman battle with her arch-nemesis. In Clinton’s case, the vast right-wing conspirators, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin will Palinize the gotcha media, Michelle Obama does battle with her husband’s shadow and Caroline Kennedy fights off reports she is cheating on her husband and withdraws her bid for a seat in the Obama cabinet.
There may even be talk of a comic book featuring Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, which would be a great move, if you ask us. Villains need there own books now and then.
Co-Warriors of the Week: Steven Foggarty, Syb Mundy
Sure, in the Northern Hemisphere it’s winter, but in the Southern Hemisphere it’s summer right now. (Also, toilets flow backwards and people drive on the wrong side of the street; it’s basically Bizarro Northern Hemisphere.) Summer means it’s time to surf in Australia, which unfortunately also means it’s time to feast if you’re a shark.
Luckily, most Australians are not sharks, nor are they fans of them. (You may recall that the War on Animals began in Australia after the martyrdom of St. Steven of Irwin.) Aussie surfers have been getting attacked by sharks lately, three in just two days. But the Australians have come out swinging.
Two of the three recent attacks involved punching the shark to get him (or her) to let go. We salute these brave warriors, who in the heat of battle showed the courage to defeat, if not kill, the enemy. And remember, The Guys always recommend carrying Bat Shark Repellent when surfing.
Take it from Snee: Go ahead, make my wish
So, on the drive to work today I heard some shill for the Make a Wish Foundation plugging his product on the Go Fish Radio Network.
(That’s the better morning radio show in Huntsville, AL. Its predecessor was, I kid you not, a show called “Rick and Bubba.” They remixed songs that were popular eight years ago to include annoying southern girls and rooster calls. They were rejected from Huntsville like a microwaved baboon heart transplant.)
You’re probably thinking, “Oh god, you hate the Make a Wish Foundation?”
Short answer: yes.
Long answer: it’s a misguided program that supports the wrong clientèle at the expense of donors. (Long answer continues after the jump.) Continue reading Take it from Snee: Go ahead, make my wish
Time to break out the Bat-Litigation Repellant
There’s always some out there trying to cash in on someone else. In 2007, Transformers saw Transmorphers. Snakes on a Plane saw Snakes on a Train. However, sometimes it’s not so much a something as it’s a someone. Such as:
The mayor of Batman, Turkey is suing Christopher Nolan for improper use of the name Batman.
Seriously. Why so?
“Until the 1950s, Batman was a small village.”
Yeesh.
Warrior of the Week: Greg LeNoir
It’s not easy being lonely. I mean, life can be pretty weird if you’re single. It’s probably even worse for those that are married. One might think initially that with all the time that you and your significant other spend together, that you wouldn’t be lonely in the slightest. Au contraire, brown bear. Perhaps that’s how it is in the beginning, but once the years start to mount up, being lonely is all that one can do to not kill each other. At least, that’s what I hear.
So, it’s understandable that when the life of whatever may be closest to Greg LeNoir is threatened, he takes action. If what is closest to him is his prized toy rat terrier, then it’s kind of weird, but still understandable. If the action that must be taken requires him to kick logic to the curb, stick to his crazy guns and punch a shark in the face to save the dog, then it’s not understandable. No, it’s seven shades of bad-ass.
That’s right-Greg LeNoir of Florida, a mile mannered carpenter, jumped into the water to save his toy dog. Using his hardened and callused hands of power, he punched the shark over and over until it gave him back what was his. There have been only two people in history beforehand to have taken it to sharks in such a manner-Chuck Norris and Batman.
If LeNoir was fighting a ghost shark, then he clearly wouldn’t have been afraid of no gho-wait. Just hold on a minute. What do you mean that “the dog was real”? Wait, so he risked his life to save an animal from another animal? But it looks so not alive. I mean, that dog looks like it’s stuffed five ways to Sunday.
Aw man, I just don’t know what to think anymore.
Move aside Osama
As Americans we want our presidential hopefuls to be smart. We want them to have a firm stance on the hard-hitting issues that face so many of us today. We want them to be sharp and focused on the obstacles ahead. We want … to know who their favorite superheroes are, and why they want to be them.
Both Sen. John McCain and Sen. Barack Obama agree that they identify with Batman, but in this article/blog, we find that Obama wants to be Batman AND Spider-Man. You want a fork so you can eat your cake too?
MasterSchools Theater: ‘The Dark Knight’
NOTE: Chugs is too cool for school this week, so Schools is filling in.
Yeah, we get it.
You’re cool, hip, deep and brooding. You’ve gone to see the new Batman flick for all the right reasons. You read the comics, still revere Michael Keaton as the best, and in noooooooooooo way let Heath Ledger’s death influence you on your own personal opinion of the film.
Bravo. Now on to the real results. Continue reading MasterSchools Theater: ‘The Dark Knight’
Take it from Snee: Batman is not Bush
Remember when 300 was released and everyone was arguing whether George Bush was Leonidas or the Iraqi people were the Spartans? Or when both conservatives and liberals were claiming the titular role in V for Vendetta? Or if that was too long ago for you, how about when Wall-E came out and the Internet pipes burned with fat indigestion indignation and anti-environmentalism?
After The Dark Knight‘s record-breaking weekend, several eggheads are already suggesting that Batman is President George Bush in the War of Terror.
SG Side Note:
If terrorists want to frighten Americans again, and–let’s face it–they haven’t lately, they should dress like clowns. Imagine those tiny little cars stuffed with 20 suicide bombers. Zounds!
As much as I love a good geek slapfight, I’m gonna have to put this one to rest. Sorry, but The Dark Knight is not about George Bush. It is, in fact, about my Great-Uncle Mortimer. Continue reading Take it from Snee: Batman is not Bush