I used the image scanner.
Awk-ward.
But at least I didn’t make fun about it over and over and over. Because that might push you to get a little angry and possibly try to beat me with a police baton. But only after you’ve forced me to my knees and made me apologize profusely because you can’t take it anymore. And only at our job in an employee parking lot at Miami International Airport, because we’re airport screeners.
But if that happened, you might have to be Rolando Negrin, right? Yeah.
When Troy West beat an African-American woman in front of her own daughter outside a Crackerrr Barrel, he might have realized while talking to police afterwards that he’s likely in for a world of trouble. Authorities aren’t keen to toleratin’ racism, hitting lasses and bedevilin’ children without Danny Elfman accompaniment.
But, there be a silverrr linin’ on West’s stupid cloud: he’ll never have to eat at a Cracker Barrel ever again.
Good morning! And what a morning it is: the dawning of yet another wonderful day!
Just think of the day you have ahead of you: showering, sitting in traffic, going to work, eating a lousy lunch with people you hate, sitting in more traffic, cooking dinner, cleaning the kitchen — all while trying not to beat your children! Goodness, but these are blessed times, aren’t they?
No, they aren’t. When your only relaxation is going to a gym to work out, you really hate the people that make it look so easy. People like, oh, Martha Stewart …
Well, guess who’s persona non gratis in the United Kingdom? Yep, Martha’s life was easy when she was given insider trading tips, but now she’s not allowed to visit investors and business partners in Merry Olde England.
And that, we think, is a good thing.
Mm, Schadenfreude: make it every morning’s shameful joy.
