We go pretty hard on beer for being made with weird stuff these days, but generally, new ingredients make beer good. The same cannot be said for liquor. Anyone who isn’t in college and takes a sip of one of those sugary flavored liquors can tell you that.
So how about a nice bourbon made with the secretions from a beaver’s anus? Tamworth Distilling is releasing Eau De Musc, a bourbon with castoreum, which is a natural flavoring. It also comes from grands located on a beaver’s butt.
Well, it’s still better than Fireball.
We know the Boys Scouts of America are aggressively anti-dick, having stripped at least one open homosexual of his Eagle Scout award and their ongoing policy to remove any gay scouts or leaders from their ranks. But, it’s OK because they’re anti-beaver, too.
A 51-year-old scout leader, Normand Brousseau, was minding his own business, swimming in the Delaware River when a frothy, foaming at the mouth beaver swam betwixt his legs and launched a surprise attack, possibly thinking he was packing wood. Brousseau grabbed the rabid beaver and threw it, but beaver was too quick and caught back up, attacking him until he could securely grab it, hold its mouth shut and throw it again, this time ashore.
And, at that point, it was on the Boy Scout’s turf. Members of his troop punished that mouthy beaver old school, Leviticus-style: they stoned it to death.
Canada’s second oldest magazine (the first being fashion mag Beauty, Ey?), The Beaver, is finally–after 90 years–changing its name. As of April, it will be titled Canada’s History, which is rich in hockey, lumberjacking and their controversial SNL training camps, in which children are enrolled by the age of four.
Editor-in-chief Mark Reid said that the change is in response to a lack of female readers.
“‘Market research showed us that younger Canadians and women were very very unlikely to ever buy a magazine called The Beaver no matter what it’s about,’ said Reid, adding he has mixed feelings about the name change. ‘For whatever reasons, they are turned off by the name.'”
Well, good for you, Canadiennes! Way to ensure that the focus of Canada’s history remains on humans and not on animals, particularly ones that are trying to steal our trees and water!