Wine kind of sucks. It’s the only type of alcohol that comes in a big bottle and goes bad if you don’t drink it all. It also makes you look like you have lipstick on. No one has ever talked about a bottle of wine and not sounded like a douche. You don’t go out to a bar after work and order a glass of red. Basically, unless you don’t like beer for some reason (don’t trust these people), over 40, or happen to be in Europe, there’s no good reason to drink wine.
You wouldn’t know that if you looked at modern science. It seems like every other week there’s a new story talking about how wine makes you stronger or thinner or some other random health benefit. These drunken scientists in their cabernet-stained lab coats like to tell us all how great wine is, but they forget their own bias. They’re so focused on wine that they forgot to test other, more delicious types of alcohol.
Namely, beer. Continue reading