Tagged: beer

| Filed under Booze News

Home defense weapon: beer

Is your home safe from intruders? You may have locks, you may have an alarm system, you may even have a gun, but you’re not really safe unless you have a case of beer in the house.

An Oregon father and his teenage son fought and detained a home intruder who may have been on drugs. Their secret weapon was a case of beer and a power tool. According to authorities, the father and son caught a man breaking into their house, and were forced to fight him when he became violent. During the scuffle, the son was able to smash cases of beer and a power grinder (items not usually used together) over the suspect’s head.

Keep your family safe. Buy a case of beer today.

| Filed under Booze News

Police: Batman steals beer

Superhero movies this summer, while mostly disappointing, all dealt with whether vigilantes with superpowers should be held accountable and controlled by society. So it’s fitting that this is now a real-world issue.

In upstate New York, a man in a Batman costume and a Captain America mask stole a couple cases of Budweiser (“America”) from a convenience store. Because when you have a superhero thirst, one case just isn’t going to do it. Was this Batman? Was this Captain America? Or was this a clever commentary on how superhero movies have devolved into two-hour-long beer commercials? Who can save us from this menace?

One thing we do know: the runs won’t just be in the tights.

| Filed under Booze News, Drunk of the Day

Beer the secret to longevity, 103-year-old says

If you want to live forever, drink beer — at least that’s what a 103-year-old woman says.

Mildred Bowers, 103, of South Carolina, has seen a lot in her day. (Some of those things are everyone she’s loved dying before her, but you know, there’s a trade-off to immortality.) And in her wizened state, she said having a beer every day has been a major reason why she has lived so long. It’s not scientific, but it’s good enough.

She also never had kids, so keep that one in mind, too.

| Filed under Booze News

Now you can drink beer made from Roald Dahl’s farts

You no doubt read some of famous British children’s author Roald Dahl’s books when you were growing up. But now that you’re older, is there something missing? You wish you could sit down and share a pint with the man. Here’s the next best thing.

40FT Brewery and food company Bompas & Parr, both British, of course, are bringing you a beer made from yeast samples taken from Dahl’s writing chair, as well as some of his other belongings. It’s called Mr. Twit’s Odious Ale, and we don’t know much about it other than it sounds gross.

It’s only a matter of time before we see James and the Giant Peach Wheat.

| Filed under Booze News

Bad news: Booze ingredients running low

It’s August, which means winter seasonal beers are just a few weeks away. But it also means pumpkin beers will be hitting shelves any day now. But it’s not good news for pumpkin beer lovers, they’re running low on pumpkins.

For the second year in a row, American brewers report that they are having trouble finding enough orange gourds to make the beer that people either love or compare to Hitler. It seems pumpkin demand is so high that farmers aren’t able to keep up with demand, plus, some farmers, such as those in the Richmond, Virginia area, suffered a bad pumpkin crop this year.

And in Europe, things aren’t looking so good for fans of bubbly. The Champagne region of France, which is coincidentally where champagne is made, has had a rough grape-growing year. Vineyards have suffered from rot, mildew and frost. That means it’s going to be a bad year for your favorite New Year’s beverage.

We don’t mean to be alarmist, but now might be the time to stock up on alcohol, you know, before everyone else cleans out the stores.

| Filed under Booze News, It Must Be Science!

Coming to a pint glass near you: Beer made from urine

Finally, the only flaw in "Waterworld" has been fixed.
Finally, the only flaw in “Waterworld” has been fixed.

Move over, cockroach milk. There’s a new trendy beverage in town.

A lot of mass-produced beer is compared to carbonated piss. The very literal scientists at the University of Ghent in Belgium have done just that. They have brewed a beer made from urine, in a process they call, and this is true, “sewer to brewer.”

A solar-powered machine is able to extract drinkable water from urine, which they hope to use as a water conservation method in rural and drought-stricken areas. To show off their invention, the Belgian scientists brewed a beer with the water they recovered.

This means that breaking the seal may be a good thing.

| Filed under Booze News, War on Robots

Dumb beer trend: Artificial intelligence

We can’t get robots to pour a decent drink, but pretty soon they could be brewing our beer for us. The first step down this dark road begins with listening to the masses.

IntelligentX, which is somehow not a nu metal band name, is a brewing company, and it has produced four different beers with the help of artificial intelligence. An AI bot measured the feedback from people on the taste of the various beers, and gave the brewers tips how they could tweak their recipes to appeal to more people. The American Idol approach to brewing is going to ruin beer for everyone, and it’s only a matter of time before they put this AI into machines.

First the robots will kill our golden age of craft beer, and then they come for us.

| Filed under Booze News

Weekend advisory: Free beer in Atlanta

Earlier this month, an entire shipment of beer was stolen. We didn’t cover it, for fear of making our beloved readers depressed. Now we have an update, and a call to action.

All 40 pallets of Sweetwater Brewing’s summer variety pack have been recovered by the authorities, which means there is justice in the world. But now the beer, estimated to be worth $90,000, must be destroyed¬†because there’s no way to guarantee the beer wasn’t messed with in any way.

So cancel your holiday weekend plans and head on down to Sweetwater and go dumpster diving. You can score enough beer to make your memory skip July.

| Filed under Booze News, It Must Be Science!

Ancient Chinese frat party unearthed

China gets credit for doing a lot of important things first, such as noodles and gunpowder. Now it seems the Chinese can add beer to that list, too.

Researchers have uncovered what they believe are instruments used to brew beer some 5,000 years ago. They found pottery resembling stuff used to brew in ancient times, only this is older. Archaeologists also found a funnel, so it stands to reason that the Chinese invented the beer bong, too.

Residue of ancient beer was found on all of the equipment, which considering how old beer smells, must have been downright skunky.

| Filed under Booze News, War on Animals

A bald eagle can deliver you beer this summer

Companies like Amazon and Google are trying to make deliveries by drone a thing, a brewery wants to deliver you beer with a frigging eagle.

Provided all the permits come through, Phillips Brewing & Malting will have a bald eagle deliver a sixer of its new lager to a few lucky people in June. That if officially the most American thing ever. Which is why it’s nothing short of tragic that all of this is happening in Canada. It turns out that Phillips Brewing is located in Vancouver, and the contest is only for locals.

However, we’re pretty sure that Seattle is flyable for a bald eagle, so Americans might be able to make this work.