Tagged: beer

| Posted in Booze News

Time to get wrecked: Brewery recreates beer from 1842 shipwreck

Four years ago we told you about some beer and champagne from the 1840s that was found in a shipwreck at the bottom of the Baltic Sea near Finland. Then we told you when some of the champagne went up for auction a year later. Now, we’ve got another exciting update.

You can buy the beer. OK, well you can buy some beer that was recreated by Belgian scientists after analyzing the beer that had been chilling since 1842. They found what type of yeast was used and figured out it was from Belgium. Then they did their best to recreate the rest of the brew, because 170 years is too long for a beer to age, even a Belgian.

It can be yours for the reasonable price of $143, plus shipping, handling and duties.

| Posted in Booze News

If you’re an alcoholic, Essen will pay you in beer

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade–unless you’re in Germany, then make shandy.

That’s exactly what the city of Essen is doing in an attempt to make its alcoholic homeless more useful. Essen is putting its homeless to work by paying them in cash, as well as three beers, a meal and some cigarettes for cleaning up the city each day. Critics say it’s cruel to give an addict the thing he or she is addicted to as a form of payment, no matter what the substance, and that the program will make the city no better than a crack dealer.

To that, the city says, “Happy Oktoberfest!”

| Posted in The McBournie Minute

The McBournie Minute: 4 ways beer is good for you

Wine kind of sucks. It’s the only type of alcohol that comes in a big bottle and goes bad if you don’t drink it all. It also makes you look like you have lipstick on. No one has ever talked about a bottle of wine and not sounded like a douche. You don’t go out to a bar after work and order a glass of red. Basically, unless you don’t like beer for some reason (don’t trust these people), over 40, or happen to be in Europe, there’s no good reason to drink wine.

You wouldn’t know that if you looked at modern science. It seems like every other week there’s a new story talking about how wine makes you stronger or thinner or some other random health benefit. These drunken scientists in their cabernet-stained lab coats like to tell us all how great wine is, but they forget their own bias. They’re so focused on wine that they forgot to test other, more delicious types of alcohol.

Namely, beer. Continue reading

| Posted in Booze News, That Wacky Australia, War on Animals

Get your own beer, boar!

Folks, we all know that animals are a threat to our safety, but it turns out that more importantly, they’re a threat to our booze.

In Australia, a wild boar got into some brews at a campground. By “some” we mean 18 beers. The beast then drunkenly went on a rampage, even fighting a cow, because apparently they have those at Australian campgrounds.

Of course, we know that cows and beer don’t mix, either.

| Posted in Booze News

Do you hate your friends enough to buy them a beer?

Then you can go home make a candle out of it, and weep for your lost dignity.
Then you can go home make a candle out of it, and weep for your lost dignity.

Remember back when Facebook had the “poke” feature? You could click the button on someone’s profile, and the next time they logged in, it would let them know that you poked them. Hours of fun!

Anheuser-Busch is taking all the fun of the poke and combining it with bros icing bros. If you live in Chicago or Denver, you can now send someone a voucher for a free Bud Light via Facebook. The genius of the prank is that it’s twofold. First, you end up hating your friend for suggesting you like terrible beer, then it wears you down, say after day, until you get desperate enough that to take that voucher to your local bar and humiliate yourself by turning it in.

Finally, you wallow in shame for what you’ve done as you nurse your free beer.

| Posted in Booze News, War on Animals

Cow goes on a mission to ruin Oktoberfest

Just a day after we told you that there are radioactive boars in Germany, we have even more shocking animals news, and this time it affects Oktoberfest.

In Munich, a cow somehow escaped from the slaughterhouse and went on a rampage. First, it gored a jogger, sending her to the hospital. But more importantly, the cow then ran toward a field where workers were setting up tents for the Oktoberfest beer festival, which is just weeks away.

The beast was heading straight toward a worked, when it was blocked by a police vehicle that arrived just in time. Efforts to recapture the cow were unsuccessful, so authorities put it down the old-fashioned way. Because nobody messes with Oktoberfest.

| Posted in Booze News

Man falls out of train, paper more concerned about his beer

We to make fun of the news here at SG, but it’s very rare that we get to make fun of the news as well as how it’s being covered. Let’s see what the Moscow Times has for us today.

Challenging the widespread notion about the inherent goodness of man, passengers of a suburban train outside Moscow stole the luggage and finished the beer of a man who fell of the train ….

Great lead sentence. Who in Russia believes that people are inherently good? Aren’t they the ones who have to use dash cams in their cars because insurance fraud is so rampant? Still, that does suck for the guy to lose his beer and luggage like that.

The unlucky passenger was keeping the door of the moving train car open to get some fresh air in the unventilated vestibule, ….

He eventually dropped out at a turn in the road, leaving behind an unfinished beer, two car bumpers and a screw gun.

So no one at the inherently good Moscow Times thought to ask what happened to the man, but found out exactly what he was carrying with him? That is kind of weird luggage, though.

Train officials ignored requests to pick up the man’s belongings, the daily said on Friday.

This allowed an unnamed male passenger to finish the beer and make away with the bumpers and the power tool before train officials came.

Again, none of these inherently good people are concerned about the guy who FELL OUT OF A TRAIN. They just want his junk cleared out, but people driving the train don’t even want to be bothered with the man’s belongings. Also, thanks for clarifying that the guy who took the beer, bumpers and screw gun was unarmed. Was that a distinguishing thing because everyone else on the train was strapped?

| Posted in The McBournie Minute

The McBournie Minute: Beer vending machines signal end of humanity

God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates robots. Robots destroy man. It’s the shadow of a dark future looming over our heads. All the time we are building smarter and more automated machines, on top of this, we’re teaching them things about ourselves, so it stands to reason they will get tired or reading our whiny Facebook posts, snap, and kill us all.

One day, when our robot masters decide to write history e-books, they will show that the beginning of the end of mankind occurred during the 2014 Major League Baseball All-Star Game, of all places. There aren’t any robot baseball players, that would actually be kind of cool. Actually, it’s the dawn of the automated bartender.

Unsurprisingly, the end of humanity is brought to you by Bud Light. Continue reading

| Posted in Booze News

Breaking news: People drinking at World Cup

In 2003, Brazil realized that its soccer fans were getting a bit too drunk and rowdy during matches, so it banned the sale of alcohol in “football” stadiums. (It would make more sense to ban soccer, but whatever.) But FIFA made Brazil end their prohibition for the World Cup.

Now, FIFA officials are surprised at how much drunkenness is going on. FIFA’s Jerome Valcke, whom we’re told is a high-ranking official, said during an interview that there may be too many drunk people at the matches, and that could lead to hooliganism.

This makes no sense to The Guys. Isn’t the point of watching sports, especially boring ones, to drink beer?

| Posted in Booze News, Zombies

The drinking dead

Are you bored with your Downton Abbey wine? Growing tired of the latest Game of Thrones beer? Perhaps it’s time you started drinking another TV-flavored booze.

In a tribute to AMC’s The Walking Dead, Dock Street Brewing in Philadelphia is releasing a special batch of beer, called Dock Street Walker. The brew does more than just tie its name to a show arbitrarily, it’s actually got ingredients inspired by the show. Namely, this American pale stout has goat brains in it.

Of course, true fans of the show will know that the zombies on The Walking Dead don’t care about brains, it’s the flesh and everything else, too. In fact, there are very few zombie universes out there where the undead even care about which part of the body they are chowing down on. So this really is just a salute to certain aspects of zombie culture, and — hey, where are you going?