Tagged: beer

| Filed under Booze News

We live in a world where transgender beer exists

The LGBT community has achieved a lot in recent years, thanks to a lot of hard work. And now, they can enjoy their own beer after all their hard work.

Oddball Scottish brewery BrewDog has partnered with the organizers of a British LGBT event that is the world’s first transgender beer. The beer, No Label, won’t chang you or anything, but it is in between styles. It’s made with hops that have changed genders (yes, there are boy hop vines and girl hop vines). Further it’s a Kolsch, which is kind of between a lager and an ale.

The Guys are pleased to hear that the LGBT community has a beer honoring them. The beer world is all about acceptance and change. Except when it comes to vegans.

| Filed under Booze News, Fun Fact

Fun Fact: FBI wiretapping costs more than beer

"Dear Craigslist ... Wanted: somebody who knows how to circumnavigate the supreme laws of the land in bed ... Could be a sixer of Schlitz in it for you."
“Dear Craigslist … Wanted: somebody who knows how to circumnavigate the supreme laws of the land in bed … Could be a sixer of Schlitz in it for you … Smiley face … Winking face.”

Apparently, it costs more than a couple of cases of beer to get the FBI to go through family members’ texts. At least, that’s what a judge in North Carolina learned after being charged with attempted bribery.

According to the FBI, Superior Court Judge Arnold Ogden Jones was charged with attempted bribery after allegedly offering an agent a couple of cases — y’know, like buddies — if the agent would ignore a lack of probable cause and obtain some text messages for “just for [him].” And who hasn’t asked their neighbor or coworker for that? Violating the U.S. Constitution is just one of those things good friends do, like loan a cup of sugar without habeas corpus or quarter some troops, no questions asked.

Of course, then things got weird because the agent reportedly turned down the beer(!) and asked for $100 instead. Jones should’ve known something was up, because nobody turns down free beer. I mean, cash is nice, but you can’t drink it and, believe us, it doesn’t get you high when you smoke it.

| Filed under Booze News

Vegans find way to ruin beer for us

Congratulations, vegans, you’ve won. You finally made everything that was enjoyable about the world crappy enough for you to put it in your body.

For hundreds of years, Guinness has been made in Ireland, and while the brewing methods may have changed, it’s always been with the same ingredients. Now, they’re going to change the recipe so your smelly, greasy-haired friend you wish you hadn’t invited to the party can enjoy it too. Guinness will no longer use isinglass, a gelatin made from fish bladders, to remove yeast particles from its beer. So now you can listen to your friend ramble about the dangers of chemicals in water while he or she gets drunk on the most famous stout in the world.

The only good news here is that this change will only happen for the Guinness brewed in Ireland. Here in the U.S., we can still proudly drink our beer with the fish bladder goop in it.

| Filed under Booze News

Chug champagne but still look classy

Everyone loves champagne, but who has the time to drink it? All that sipping and enjoying, meanwhile, you’re waiting for the buzz to kick in. Now there’s a solution.

And that solution is called the Chambong, a cross between a champagne flute and a beer bong. The device is all glass, and shaped like an L. On one end, it looks like a regular champagne flute, and on the other, it looks like a crack pipe. Simply hold the crack pipe end up to your lips, lift the flute end, and enjoy the champagne being launched down your throat.

The Guys were drinking alcoholic beverages that weren’t beer a decade ago, and from a bong a couple stories up. Too bad we never capitalized.

| Filed under Booze News

Booze: Part of this complete breakfast

The quality of food offered at schools here in the U.S. has always been a hot debate topic, but it’s worse in Zimbabwe, and not for the reason you’re thinking of.

At least three schools there have banned breakfast cereal because kids are making beer with it. Kids who probably do well in science class mix the cereal, some water, some brown sugar and yeast, and let it ferment. The end result is probably as tasty as it sounds, but at least it contains alcohol.

Considering how cereal consumption in the U.S. is falling, this could really turn things around here at home.

| Filed under Booze News, It Must Be Science!

You need another excuse for your drunken hook-up

Remember that time you went home with that girl at the bar, only to find the next morning she didn’t look as good as she did when you were drunk? Science says you’re making that up.

According to a recent study in Bristol, England, there may be no such thing as beer goggles after all. Researchers conducted a study of patrons of three pubs in town where they showed people images of faces and asked for their attractiveness rating, then they measured their BAC. The study was kind of like a drunken Hot or Not throwback. They found no clear correlation between the attractiveness ratings a person gave and the amount of booze in their bloodstream.

Some say the study shows that lowered inhibitions and lower standards could make the drunken hook-ups happen.

| Filed under A Word from Our Sponsors, Booze News

The most important beer of the day

HefeWheaties: technically not breakfast because you never went to sleep. Like a damn champion.
HefeWheaties: technically not breakfast because you never went to sleep. Like a damn champion.

America was founded by prudes, sure, but they were beer-drinking prudes, so what the hell happened to drinking booze with breakfast? The company that brought you weird feelings about Mary Lou Retton with your first cup of coffee plans to bring back the meal that has fueled headhunters and pyramid-builders alike: breakfast beer.

General Mills and the Fulton brewery have joined forces to produce HefeWheaties — a slight variation on the hefeweizen, a German beer recipe that is 50 percent made from fermented wheat — that combines marketing forces with the breakfast of champions: little chocolate donuts Wheaties.

Neither company has announced whether they will feature famous sports figures on the cans, but The Guys’ vote is for John Daly and Bob Ueker.

| Filed under Booze News, That Wacky Australia

In some parts of the world, booze is hard to come by

You’re lucky to be a drunk in the U.S. That is, of course, if you’re reading this in the U.S., and a drunk. People who like to bend an elbow don’t have it so lucky in other parts of the world.

In remote parts of Australia, people are using Vegemite to make booze. The spread contains yeast, so desperate Aussies who want a buzz use it to make the Australian equivalent of bathtub gin. This had led to calls to limit Vegemite purchases, which in turn led to a panic to keep Vegemite legal. This is a serious issue.

But not as serious as the situation in Venezuela, where they are slowing beer production because of a shortage of the grains and hops necessary to brew. Understandably, the nation is freaking out.

So enjoy that next sip, you patriotic lush.

| Filed under Booze News, That Wacky New Zealand

New Zealand thinks you’d like a glass of elk semen beer

This is the face it makes when they harvest.
This is the face it makes when they harvest.

Is it time for the craft beer movement to come to an end? The Guys really enjoy beer, especially the kind of beer than isn’t crappy. But there’s a part of the craft brewing movement that’s all about extreme things. And it might just have hit its limit.

If the extreme brewing sect ends, you can trace it back to New Zealand, specifically, a stout brewed with elk semen. Choice Bros. calls it a “milked” stout. (Get it guys? Get it? Milked!) It’s been brewed for the Green Man Pub in Wellington, which apparently does something like these every couple years. Back in 2011, it was apple-infused horse semen shots, in 2013, they served syringes of stag semen.

So if you think ingesting alcohol mixed with the seminal fluids of an animal sounds like a good time, here’s your new favorite bar.

| Filed under Booze News

140-year-old beer survived a failed trip to North Pole

There are beers that are just badass and deserve an audience with your mouth, like if they were on an expedition to the North Pole. Unfortunately, you’ll never have any.

In 1875, Sir George Nares set off on an expedition to reach the North Pole. And he needed to bring along enough provisions to keep his men fed during the dangerous trip. Also, he needed beer. He didn’t make it to the North Pole, and 140-years later, a bottle of beer from that expedition turned up in some guy’s garage in England, and no one knows how it got there.

No doubt, a sip from a mysterious bottle would give you a taste of the grit these adventurers had, and perhaps even give you an inkling into how the beer got from the Arctic Circle, back to England. The bottle sold for 600 pounds, or probably around the same amount in real American dollars. So you’ll just have to drink some other beer until you feel like you’re on a doomed expedition.