Tag: bikers

Aussie AG surprisingly not named Nancy

He’s a brave man. Such a brave man, despite being a complete and total nancy-boy.

The South Australian Attorney General that happens to be the only politician standing between Australia and a mature rating for video games in the country, says that he’s more at risk from gamers than motorcycle gangs. No, really.

“I feel that my family and I are more at risk from gamers than we are from the outlaw motorcycle gangs who also hate me and are running a candidate against me,” Michael Atkinson said on ABC TV’s Good Game.

Atkinson says that a gamer slipped a “threatening note” under his door early one morning.

“The outlaw motorcycle gangs haven’t been hanging around my doorstop at 2 a.m.,” he said. “A gamer has.”

DUM DUM DUMMMMMMMMM!!!!! Did you not read that? A threatening note. From a gamer no less, even though there’s been no evidence to support that at all. We can totally understand where he’s coming from. A strong combination of Cheetos powder and sexual slurs proclaimed by boys that have yet to hit puberty have been known to account for a numerous amount of deaths every year.

Maybe. Possibly. Eh, who knows?

‘These guys were absolutely dumb as bricks’

In most cases, if you’re holding a machete, you’re the one making the rules. However, this principle only works when the brain is used on conjunction with the machete. One of the brain’s most valuable functions is the ability to reason. Sadly, it is also the brain’s most fleeting of all functions.

Example: Robbing a bar may not be a particularly great idea. Sure, you’re armed, but you don’t know who else is. Odds are more than a couple of the establishment’s occupants have had enough alcohol to throw reason out the window and come after you. (“He’s trying to steal the money we just used to pay for our drinks! GET HIM!!!”)

So maybe then robbing a meeting hall of some sort. They have cash registers, right? Two Australian men had just such logic. They paid no heed as they walked past rows of motorcycles in the parking lot. They began to rob one room, demanding the patrons get on the ground. In the next room a local biker “club” was having its monthly meeting.

You can guess how it went from there.