What are airports doing about the avian threat?

As proved recently in the crash in the Hudson, birds intentionally try to bring down planes carrying civilians because to them we are all the same. To keep the public safe, airports are using high tech stuff to keep our foes at bay.

They set up foliage that looks nice for landing on, and put netting over water so birds don’t land there. They use radar to track the enemy’s movements. They shine green light at the birds, which for some reason mimics a predator stalking them. We all know that bird predators are miners with low-light green film attached to their lamps, so it’s the logical choice.

Most importantly, they use guns. These guns are really used or loaded to kill, although they should be. They just shoot shells that make really loud noises to scare off the birds. Here’s a thought: why not load up those shotguns with actual shot, better yet, how about some bird-seeking missile launchers.