We prefer gunmetal Friday, truth told

This year’s Black Friday seems to have been a bit more sedate than it has been in the past. There don’t seem to be any reports of super humongous violence for attendees outside of a scant few here or there. In my neck of the woods, I haven’t heard of any news of horror, despite rumors of around 700 people standing outside the local Toys R Us.

But not all Toys R Us are full of order and joy.

We bring you news of fear and terror from the scariest of all places-Wisconsin. While waiting in the cold for the Black Friday shopping joy, a woman from Middleton, Wisconsin, began pushing her way to the front of the line, allegedly threatening to show her gun as her “reason for being in the front.”

Of course, that was all for not, as no actual gun was found on her. Nonetheless, the lady found out that you can’t just say you’ve got a gun on you and still go to the front of lines. It tends to get you arrested.

It’s not like they’ve got anything better to do

NFL superstar and millionaire Chad Johnson, also known to go by the alias “Ocho Cinco,” is a fairly unique man, being one who apparently really knows how to shop for his loved ones. He was recently spotted on this past Friday taking part in the retail festivities known as Black Friday. His main purchase? A complete band set of Rock Band 2. Not one to miss out on a deal, Johnson said the game as well as a stereo and Cuisinart four-slice toaster were for his coach.

Sure they were, Chad. Sure they were.

The McBournie Minute: It’s the most lethal time of the year

Thanksgiving has come and gone and left behind the traditional amount of deaths and injuries in its wake. We all know that it’s nice to go home for the holidays, but really, isn’t the true American holiday tradition that of finding new ways to hurt ourselves.

I’m not talking about family arguments and hurt feelings, I’m talking about injuries both turkey-related and non-turkey-related.

Perhaps the biggest domestic story of the Thanksgiving break was the traditional late-NFL season Wound From a Deadly Weapon (WFDW). New York Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress, a poster child for why our heroes suck, was shot at a night club. It was only found out later that the person who shot Burress was Burress. Not only can this man catch anything thrown at him, he can even catch a bullet. He currently leads his team in WFDWs, but the Cincinnati Bengals league the league overall. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: It’s the most lethal time of the year