Ask Dr. Snee: Got any Irish in you?

Today is St. Patrick’s Day.

And when I think of St. Patrick’s, I think of not pulling out during my annual night of leprechaun-themed sex. (There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for love, unlike certain Meat Loafs.)

Based on your letters, though, most of you think about drinking. Is St. Patrick’s a drinking holiday? I’ve been known tip a keg back for Bastille Day, but imbibing alcohol on a religious day? You people are weird.

Nevertheless, it is my doctorly duty to never turn away a patient until their insurance company says it’s OK. So, let’s get to your questions.
Continue reading Ask Dr. Snee: Got any Irish in you?

Cure for blindness not nearly as awesome as citrus fruits

Bah! A tooth? That’s not a cure, that’s simply molly-coddling devices that allow ye to be slobbering with comely wenches! Blindness never impeded any good pirate: they still fight on. Give me two minutes and I could tell you of the blind pirate Soggy Cheesebeard Slappy and how he fought off the 15th Royal British Navy with but a peg leg, a parrot and a bottle of rum.

What’s that? I don’t have one? YARRRGH! Ye be true pillager of me chronal treasures!

Fine then! To be making a long tale a bit smaller, a wench somehow was able to have her looking ability given back to her not by the haunts of the sea, but by a tooth placed in her eye socket. ‘Tis a far too expensive and time-wasting procedure if ye be askin’ me. Simply give her some oranges and limes to fight off the scurvy and she’d be right as rain. YAR!