U.K. under attack from fatberg, superslugs

Be glad you don’t live in the U.K. — unless you live in the U.K., in which case, run! It sounds like the entire country is a nightmare right now.

We recently told you about how the sewers of Cheltenham regularly back up, and it seems the problem has only worsened since then. Indeed, the whole town was paralyzed in fear after a “fatberg” blocked up the town’s entire sewer system. The solidified blob of fat made it so people in town couldn’t even flush their toilets. The blockage was cleared before it spilled onto the streets, but we probably haven’t heard the last from it.

If that wasn’t enough, a new race of superslugs is invading Britain, albeit very slowly. Researchers say that an invasive species of slug, which is from Spain, is breeding with a native species and creating a hybrid. The Spanish slug is larger than the British slug, and likes to eat stuff like dead mice and its fellow slugs, and it’s an attractive meal for native predators. The hybrid species has these tendencies, but with the native species’ tolerance for frost. It is a race of superslug that is poised to take over the country.

Our thoughts are with our allies at this time.

Member of Ukraine parliament really just a grey blob

Russia may be trying to slowly take over Ukraine, but the former Soviet satellite has bigger problems on its hands–like a blog taking over seats in the Ukrainian parliament.

Claiming that his fellow members of parliament don’t show up for their jobs as often as they should, Borislav Bereza has brought a grey blob to sit in one of the empty seats next to him. The plush blob has been a popular meme in Russia and Ukraine in recent years, and that has seemingly translated into a seat in government. As absurd as an internet meme in a leadership role might seem to Americans, apparently it’s possible there. Bereza even sat the blob behind the podium.

What does it want? What if it multiplies? What if Ukraine falls under blob rule?

The ooze is coming, and no one is safe

Bad news, folks. There’s a rather large blob of goo floating around in the Chukchi Sea right now. We don’t know what it is or what it wants. We know it’s big, we know it’s alive and we know that it’s floating with the current. The U.S. Coast Guard has made attempts to establish contact on hailing frequencies, but so far, the goo has not responded.

But, there’s good news: most people don’t know where the Chukchi Sea is, or that there is one on the planet in the first place. So if you don’t know where it is, that is strong evidence that it doesn’t exist, right?

It’s off the coast of Alaska, like way up there. So even if the blob does make landfall, it will have to travel miles and miles and miles before it will be able to attack humans.