Here’s your nightmare for today

Sleep is pretty awesome. And yet, when you sleep, you are vulnerable to all sorts of attacks, like large animals falling on you.

In upstate New York, a man was sleeping in his bed, probably enjoying a nice peaceful dream offering him an escape from the frustrations and disappointments of everyday life, when a snake fell on him. A six-foot-long boa constrictor fell from the ceiling and landed on him, we’re assuming that woke him up. Imagine the terror of being woken up by the sudden impact of an animal falling on you, then discovering that that animal is a huge snake.

Turns out the boa constrictor escaped its enclosure somewhere else in the apartment building and was out for a stroll. Amazingly, no one was arrested and the snake wasn’t put down.

Sleep with one eye open tonight.

Take THAT, mythical monsters!

For years, people have been wondering about the urban legend of the Lancaster Boa. It’s foiled cryptozoologists left and right, as no one has been able to find pictures of it. You wouldn’t believe the number of citizens in California that have plagued by this beast.

But no longer! We’ve now caught it! No longer will you rampage through the cars of people, evil reptilian monster.



What’s that? Wait, what do you mean? It doesn’t exist? There is no Lancaster Boa? I’m just making it up?



…..Gotta go…..