Crocodile invasion of London fake — this time

Yacht owners in London probably live a very posh life. Owning an expensive boat in one of the most expensive cities in the world is certainly a status symbol. And then one day you see a crocodile swimming towards you.

A boater in London’s Chelsea Harbor tweeted a video of what appeared to be a crocodile–or alligator, we forget the difference–poking its head out of the water and looking around. The man said that the bobbies had been called. After all the panic, it turned out to just be a pretty lifelike pond ornament floating around.

It seems obvious that this was the animals testing the London police response to such an incident. They will learn from it, and strike again.

Getting your meal to go

Dining on a boat can be a lovely experience. But when a boat that isn’t supposed to move break free from its moorings, eating isn’t as much fun.

Jeff Ruby’s Waterfront Restaurant on the Ohio River is a houseboat. Except it’s a restaurant, so restaurantboat? In any case, it broke free from its moorings yesterday and floated downstream, turning around 180 degrees, before hitting a bridge.

Other than that, the food was great.

What is it with the Germans and animals?

While we’ve been focusing on the Knut the man-eating polar bear story lately, it’s important to note that there are other animals in Germany. These animals are just as dangerous, not only because they are animals, but because they are German. We all know how it goes when the Germans get riled up about stuff, same goes for the animal population.

No better an example of German animals and their freaky German fetishes is there than a swan love story in Muenster. There, Petra the swan fell in love with a swan paddleboat in 2006. However, Petra was later separated from her unnatural love with a seagoing vessel, in hopes she would find a new mate. She did, but he flew off.

“A zoo statement says that Petra ‘appears to feel lonely’ and is swimming around in an agitated state. The solution? On Friday, she will be taken back to the nearby lake and her faithful paddleboat.”

Not only is this an abomination against God and the natural order of things, but it means Muenster will no longer have its main attraction, Petra the emo swan.