The McBournie Minute: Candidates for the next pope

Take this job and shove it. Pope Benedict XVI didn’t exactly quote Johnny Paycheck, but that’s the gist of it. The pope is resigning from his job, one that you typically only leave when they carry you out in a casket. But, citing ill health, the soon-to-be former Pope Benedict announced he was stepping down, which is apparently something you can do. It’s like being on the U.S. Supreme Court, only with fewer pro-lifers protesting outside your building.

The world hasn’t seen the resignation of a pope since Gregory XII in 1415, but that was under completely different circumstances. At that time, there were three different claimants to the papal hat, and three different sets of cardinals that elected them. Gregory’s resignation helped to end the Western Schism, which is likely also the name of a band that opened for Radiohead. This time, the pope, 85, just wants to live out the rest of his days without all the robes.

Benedict’s resignation means that we will have a new pope by Easter. Who will be the next pope? Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Candidates for the next pope

Ghosts yearn for days of Broadway sensibility

Believe it or not, theatre (not to be confused with theaters, where the floors are only sticky with butter) is in a bit of trouble.

For some reason, Americans aren’t interested in live stage performances of movies they’ve already seen, like Legally Blonde, Les Miserables and Spider-Man.

The last in that list has already injured four people, three of which were “flying”-related.

This logically proves only one thing: Broadway ghosts have had enough of this Ice Capades s#@t, and they are not going to take it anymore.

U2 films concert movie for three ‘virgins’

Did you know that right now, somewhere on this planet, there are people who have not seen a U2 concert? Despite their appearance on every television program to date, including the Super Bowl, Dish Network free pay-per-view events, Saturday Night Live (a gazillion times), any news program about Bono and that one time on Friends, U2 has realized that there are some people who haven’t seen them perform the same songs they’ve played for over 20 years.

U2, thankfully, has filled this void with a 3D movie of a concert where they play–once again–the same songs they’ve played for over 20 years. Only this time, Bono’s stupid hat juts out at you.

So look out for U2 at a theater near you! Or at a concert hall. Or on television. Or at your neighbor Ricky’s Bar Mitzvah.