Bonobos discover two-thirds of human ‘date night’

"Hey, baby. How's about dinner at my place followed by bananas foster?"
“Hey, baby. How’s about dinner at my place followed by bananas foster?”

We already that bonobos, one of our closest ape relatives, do it people-style (i.e., face-to-face just long enough until it’s OK to switch to doggy-style). But, their theft of human mating rituals has just gone too far. According to a new study, bonobos offer food to strangers to make friends and do so more often than with already established friends and family.

People, do you know what this means? Apes are asking each other “out to dinner” with an implied furry dessert. They’re only a movie away from co-opting human date night.