Researchers use app for ape love, just in time for Valentine’s Day

When it comes to going soft in the War on Animals, the Dutch want to be the softest. The one-time enemies of nature (they made their own sea) have decided that humans aren’t the only apes that need help hooking up.

Researchers at a wildlife reserve have developed what many call the Tinder for orangutans and bonobos. The app they created shows the apes pictures of other apes doing various activities. The apes then push a button on the screen that best gauges their reaction to it, kind of like those BuzzFeed surveys you keep filling out.

Researchers say they have found that orangutans and bonobos have shown they read others’ emotion through physical actions, and now want to see if the apes will show a preference for certain mates.

Bonobos discover two-thirds of human ‘date night’

"Hey, baby. How's about dinner at my place followed by bananas foster?"
“Hey, baby. How’s about dinner at my place followed by bananas foster?”

We already that bonobos, one of our closest ape relatives, do it people-style (i.e., face-to-face just long enough until it’s OK to switch to doggy-style). But, their theft of human mating rituals has just gone too far. According to a new study, bonobos offer food to strangers to make friends and do so more often than with already established friends and family.

People, do you know what this means? Apes are asking each other “out to dinner” with an implied furry dessert. They’re only a movie away from co-opting human date night.