Tag: boobies

This is a bust!

Angelina Jolie, your public breastfeeding days are over … anytime you want to put those away?

Look, we get it: you love showing off that you’re a mom and people will do anything to see your breasts, like place a baby strategically over a nipple.

But aren’t you sending a dangerous message to the young women of America? They can’t afford safe dependable implants, but there you are on the cover of W, breastfeeding with bigger boobies that are courtesy of getting pregnant.

Teen girls are smart. They know that the condom doesn’t work if you poke holes in it. Before you know it, the whole countryside will be teen pregnant, all for bigger milk jugs.

We hope you’re happy, Ms. Jolie. And by that statement, we totally hope you’re not happy. (It’s Opposite Day. Or is it not Opposite Day???)

Take it from Snee: Toys suck anyway

Alright, so I’m getting married this weekend. This means two things:

  1. There will be no writing from me next week because I’ll be in Bermuda.
  2. I’m going to write some crap about growing up, becoming a man, etc.

Interestingly enough, point number two seems to be a popular theme this week, as my old friend Charles Smith (an alias to be sure) has his own opinions about it in Whim this week.

Yep, it was about when I worried about having hemorrhoids on my honeymoon that I realized I’m acting more and more like a grown-up. So it’s time to put away childish things, or toys, and embrace the things of men.

Video games stay, though, because they’re not toys. They’re training files should the government ever require my services as a fighter pilot/secret agent/Italian stereotype that squashes pizza ingredients.

The Star Wars figures are just that: figures, as in they will one day be worth several figures and finance my retirement or crippling gambling addiction. They stay.

Everything else, though, is gone. Continue reading Take it from Snee: Toys suck anyway

Finally: an FCC fine we can agree with

Fox, by way of News Corp., is in trouble with the FCC for airing pixelated boobies on some show we’ve never seen called Married by America. This is the standard on which the FCC has based their suit:

“It ‘in context, depicts or describes sexual or excretory activities or organs in a patently offensive manner as measured by contemporary community standards for the broadcast medium.'”

Which has been applied to this:

“‘the thrusting of a male stripper’s crotch into a woman’s face; a topless stripper performing a lap dance for a groom-to-be; a topless female stripper spanking with a whip or belt the buttocks of a topless man who is on all fours; two topless female strippers apparently kissing while straddling a shirtless man; and a female stripper cupping her own bare breasts and puckering her lips.'”

The FCC is absolutely correct: this should not have been obscured with pixels! Fox, you owe us some strippers.