MasterChugs Theater: ‘Cashback’

British filmmaker Sean Ellis turned his 2004 short film, Cashback, into an indie feature of the same name in 2006, and his expansion of an intriguing premise turns out to be a moving exploration of the universal need for human connection.

His daily life refracted through a magical realism inspired by creative artistic viewpoint, protagonist Ben believes he has gained special powers of observation. But ultimately his particular carnival ride through the landscape of romance teaches him far more about the salvation possible in human relationships than what can be gained or protected by avoiding them.

I only just recently discovered this movie on my own, and for that, I feel shamed. It is THE emo-drama movie for guys. Why? Because we’ve been there before. Also, it’s got boobers, which is always a good thing. I don’t really know what it was about the synopsis of Cashback that made me want to put it in my Netflix queue. Even now, when I go back to reread the synopsis, there’s nothing that jumps out at me. Whatever it was, I’m glad it caught my eye because this is a gem of a film. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Cashback’

Take it from Snee: A few more things

As I established last “lightning round,” there are certain thoughts I have that don’t really make an entire Take it from Snee. They’re just ideas I save up from stories I read and, when the week’s particularly slow, I just ejaculate them into one gonzo post.

So, enjoy my brain ejaculations.

I promise to avoid your hair and those pants that are dry clean only. But you’re on your own for your eyes. You don’t like this? Keep ’em shut. Continue reading Take it from Snee: A few more things

.327 BA and an A-B Cup

The Alex Rodriguez hits just keep on coming. Selena Roberts new book on A-Rod not only details some of his alleged steroid abuse beyond what he’s admitted to, but also that A-Rod grew, oh, how can we say this? Boobs. Man boobs to be exact. And his nickname amongst the Yankee clubhouse circa 2005 was “B***h T**s.” This and more in-depth looks into Major League Baseball brought to you by Sports Illustrated!

Take it from Snee: My friends are emotionally needy

Or, 25 Things About Me

I’ve been successfully ignoring Facebook for nigh-on three months when I start getting emails about friends tagging me in notes. As an Internet celebrity, that makes me nervous: who knows what my friends are saying about me when writing 25 things about themselves?

Imagine my surprise to find they had written not a got-milked thing about me! (Are you angry? Good imagining!)

So, as a service to you readers (especially the angry ones), here are 25 things about me: Continue reading Take it from Snee: My friends are emotionally needy

The McBournie Minute: Modern day boobs look much better

Yesterday I had an experience that transported me back in time. I am not talking about the kind of taking you back in time when you hear a song you remember from high school. I am talking about like medieval kind of back in time. I went to the Maryland Renaissance Festival.

Having never gone to something like that, I had no idea what to expect. I did know one thing: there would be beer.

The first thing I noticed, of course, were the people dressed up and speaking in accents. There were fat dudes with funny hats and frilly shirts, merrily strolling around shouting merry things at the people passing by. This may have been because of the beer in their cups, or maybe the banter was just to take their minds off of the fact that they are middle-aged men wearing tights from the Middle Ages. There were ladies in Renaissance era dresses who also looked merry, but were for some reason not wearing tights. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Modern day boobs look much better

Rich virgin boys to run from Switzerland to Apple’s open arms

The Swiss government is working hard to protect children from the evils of pornography … by banning pornography on all mobile devices. Why is a general ban necessary? Why, because if anyone’s allowed to get mobile porn, those crafty teenagers will find a way to get their hands on it! Totally sound logic all around–until, of course, you get the urge to watch highlights from the Swiss women’s Olympic volleyball team. Won’t someone stop thinking of the children and begin to think of the parents?

But wait–we’re not done with perverted cellphone news quite yet.

As if you couldn’t see enough actual boobs on your iPhone, some genius nerd geek virgin scary Japanese programmer Machead has created an application that actually allows you to touch and fondle them!

Or, maybe, just the outline of a boob, that is.

OK, so maybe it’s just a line.

But still: it’s a boob! And even if a bouncy little blob that responds to fingertip touch but lacks any definable features of a real breast gets less interesting the more you play with it, it’s wonderful to know that boob physics are alive and well—as are the stunning lengths that Apple fanboys will go to in order to grope a hot rack. No matter how digital it may be. And, since, in theory, it’s an application, that means that it’s free. Will the Swiss government put the kibosh on one of the hottest selling phones in the world (and by world, I mean the United States)?