If there’s one thing we’ve always said here at SeriouslyGuys, it’s that you shouldn’t read. But do you listen? And now there are books that could kill you.
The library at the University of Southern Denmark recently pulled three Renaissance-era books that have arsenic on their pages. The books were covered in arsenic-laced paint that had been applied back in the 19th century, when people thought arsenic was totally safe as long as you didn’t swallow it.
So put down those books, people. It could just save your life.
Sorry, folks. I am too busy reading a book I just got to write much of a post this morning. I picked up Crocheting Adventures with Hyperbolic Planes the other day, and let me tell you, it is a page-turner.
It makes Collectible Spoons of the Third Reich look like Afterthoughts of a Worm Hunter. If you’re looking for some fun reading now that the weather is improving, I highly suggest it. After I’m done reading, I’m going to have to come up with a cooler title for my own book.
We didn’t read the Audacity of Hope by Barack Obama or Going Rogue by Sarah Palin. You know why? Because they just reached the point where their lives have received notice, deserved or otherwise.
Sure, autobiographies have to be written within a person’s lifetime, so there’s obviously some time for an update, but:
- Who cares how you got into the career you enjoy, especially politics?
- Can’t it wait until you’ve accomplished something other than win (or lose, in Palin’s case) an election? Or are these the new Nobel Peace Prizes?
Proving that no politician who makes the news is above this trend, nor are the idiots that eat these books up, newly-elected U.S. Senator Scott Brown (R-Mass.) has started shopping his life story out to publishers.
While I’m certainly glad to see more people writing thanks to the advent of blogging, twittering and other terms that were previously symptoms of pleurisy; whereas I am also elated to say goodbye to the biggest waste of a decade since the 1460s (was there any good music that decade?); and because I look forward to the Twenty-Ten future, I am officially sick of all retrospectives about this and any other decade from here on out.
To make sure one is never written again, I’ve done you all a favor and written and all-encompassing one that should work for the next hundred years.* Don’t think I’ve left out names to be vaguely correct: in 10 years’ time, you’ll have forgotten most of the “important” people of this past decade, too.
*If this template still applies after 100 years, you’re on your own because I should be dead. Hopefully of something awesome like breastclimbing or mesotheligladiator fights.
Well, it’s been another 10 years, and what a 10 years it’s been! Let’s recap the good, bad and weird from this decade. Continue reading Take it from Snee: Retrospect this
Michael Phelps wrote a children’s book. No, it’s not called My First Guide to Bongs, Tight Swimsuits and Loose Women.
No, instead they went for the more marketable title of How to Train with a T. Rex and Win 8 Gold Medals. Oddly enough there’s a reference or two to last summer’s Olympics.
Book publishers have finally found their new Harry Potter to sell what children’s literature pedlars call “a f#$kton of books”: 44th President of the United States, Barack Obama. In fact, they started publishing the books before he was even elected.
So far, they’ve been biographies, including:
- Barack Obama: Son of Promise, Child of Hope by Nikki Grimes
- Barack by Jonah Winter
- Yes We Can by Garen Thomas
- Change Has Come: An Artist Celebrates Our American Spirit, a collection of black-and-white drawings by Kadir Nelson (Why do the pictures have to be black and white, Kadir?)
To put this in perspective, the linked article only mentions one book about John McCain, and his daughter wrote it. (Nepotism?)
Of course, once kids are tired of the biographical route, we’re sure some more interesting books will follow this refreshing new character.