Science: Booze is good for your brain

Large amounts of alcohol are known to have an ill effect on the brain (aside from headaches), but new research suggests that lower amounts can actually improve your brain function. That’s right, booze not only makes you feel smarter, it might actually make you smarter, too.

Researchers have found that lower amounts of alcohol, we’re talking a drink or two tops, can help improve the function of the glymphatic system, which helps clear waste from the body. Mice that were given small amounts of booze showed had less inflamed glial cells in the brain than mice that weren’t given a drop. Meaning, the alcohol actually helped the mice clean their brains faster than if they’d just stayed sober.

So if your brain could use a good cleaning, maybe relax with a couple drinks and let the booze do the work.

We’ve wasted our lives

If there’s one thing The Guys prize about ourselves, it’s our giant, throbbing brains. We’ve spent the past several years training hard, working both lobes evenly and drinking to prune the weaker brain cells to become thought-mongering mentalists.

And it appears that it was all for naught.

According to a study launched by the BBC, brain training games–like those for the Nintendo DS–do not actually improve brain function … unless that function is to play brain training games better. Otherwise:

  • Our math still sucks.
  • Our cold fusion machine still only makes espresso.
  • And, we’ve yet to solve a single case in our Batmen Detective agency.

What’s next, BBC? Are you going to tell us that we’ll never beat Olympic records using Wii Fit? Because that’s real athletic training … with practically weightless controllers … on a balance board like what most decathletes use … sonnova