Tag: break-up

Take it from Snee: You’re about to get dumped

Look, I don’t know how to break this to you, but … well, you’re about to get dumped.

Or you’re about to dump somebody. Either way, you are about to be alone, so very alone soon.

How could I possibly know that? Because of Facebook.

David McCandless, a London designer, just released a graph of status updates containing the phrases “break up” or “broken up.” He discovered two peak periods in which the phrases were used: Spring Break and the two weeks before Christmas.

Here’s my interpretation of his data. Continue reading Take it from Snee: You’re about to get dumped

Yowch

I mean, really … yowch (link is potentially Not Safe For Work).

Breaking up is hard to do, and teenagers are super emotional (hilariously making them lamer than they can even believe), but nonetheless … yeesh. There are somethings a lad can do to get over being dumped, but to quote a line from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, “he chose poorly.”

Glass half full side: some old and unmarried woman is going to get her wish the next time she tosses a penny down the well.

How will we believe in love now?!

SeriouslyGuys is known for often broadcasting viewpoints that take pleasure in the misfortune of others. But, we’re not monsters all the time. We believe in a thing called love (just listen to the rhythm of your heart).

But, that belief? Frankly, it’s a little shaken today.

Karl Rove destroys marriage

Karl Rove–who once questioned why we would “throw out 5,000 years of understanding the institution of marriage”– threw out his understanding of the 5,000 institution of marriage to his second wife. If Karl can’t make marriage work, what chance do the rest of us heteros have?

Won’t they stay together for the kids that obsess over them?

And, in news that dismayed all The Guys (but mostly Bryan Schools), Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner are no longer dating. This is the most biggest news to impact our Taylor-driven love lives since our office Jonathan Taylor Thomas poster was declared child pornography.

It’s like our grandparents broke up

It's always a little sad when the only chick in the band leaves.

They may have stayed together for Liv Tyler, but it looks like Steven Tyler and the rest of Aerosmith just can’t keep up appearances anymore. (Although, Tyler’s injury from a fall led to the canceling of said appearances.)

Of course, there’s always one party of denial in any breakup, especially when they’ve been together for 39 years–just shy of the ruby anniversary. Joe Perry said he hasn’t heard it direct from Tyler himself. But, he’s still auditioning younger, hotter singers just in case.

In related news, both Sesame Street and the NASA moon landing–who just celebrated their own 40th anniversaries–clucked at the sad state of Aerosmith and mused that nobody has the patience to work at a relationship anymore.