Jimmy Buffett doesn’t spend much time in Margaritaville

Jimmy Buffett, the living embodiment of baby boomers’ idea of a party, seems to have given up on his partying ways. But he still wants you to visit Margaritaville.

According to a recent profile of the guy who built a career off of a song about being drunk in a beach setting, the 71-year-old singer doesn’t really drink anymore. Basically, he’s too old and too busy touring and selling everything he can think to put “Margaritaville” on, to go hard like he used to. (The reason for the profile is his new musical on Broadway.) The timing of his cutting back seems fortuitous, since we’re about to have a tequila shortage.

But he’ll be happy to sell you whatever crap you want, or even let you live out your days in a Margaritaville retirement community.

Ghosts yearn for days of Broadway sensibility

Believe it or not, theatre (not to be confused with theaters, where the floors are only sticky with butter) is in a bit of trouble.

For some reason, Americans aren’t interested in live stage performances of movies they’ve already seen, like Legally Blonde, Les Miserables and Spider-Man.

The last in that list has already injured four people, three of which were “flying”-related.

This logically proves only one thing: Broadway ghosts have had enough of this Ice Capades s#@t, and they are not going to take it anymore.