Newest animal threat: metrosexual bears

For years, right-wing demagogues like Rick Santorum have warned us that homosexuality will lead to sexual behavior with animals (“man on dog,” for instance). And, conservationists have warned us that destroying animals’ native environments will push more animals into direct contact with humans.

Now we have evidence that both were right.

Volker Deecke of the University of Cumbria, UK, was spying on the enemy — in this case, a brown bear in Alaska’s Glacier Bay national park — and caught this dangerous animal exfoliating with a rock.

People, if you think gay pride parades are dangerous now, just wait until they include bears. (You know which bears we mean.)