The war against our multi-legged enemies continues. Just when we thought we were making ground, the animals begin their invasion plots and in our most sacred areas! Not a place is safe!
Don’t let this continue. Stamp out any animals you see.
Quick riddle: what’s got enough power to kill a person, is nothing but an inch long at most and loves to live where people are? Why, it’s the brown recluse spider that’s infested the Nebraska Vocational Rehabilitation Office in Lincoln, Nebraska.
Now, take that joke and multiply by approximately a gazillion.
Yes, it’s spiders gone wild down in Nebraska’s capital city. Workers in the office have valiantly been doing their part by killing hundreds of the arachnid terrorists, but sadly, it’s just not enough. Experts suspect that many of them are surviving simply by living in underground colonies.
What they do in their underground colonies, we may never know, but we can suspect a few things:
- At least one of them is video taping plenty of messages to his fellow spiders.
- Said leader may or may not have a “hide-out beard.”
- Fornication between the spiders is a strong possibility.
- Any act taking place in these underground colonies is evil.
Sadly, we can only speculate about the truth regarding what actually happens, because if we truly knew what went down in those dark, dank lairs of evil, it might shatter our entire world.
We’ve already seen one attack on our government offices this month alone. How many more will it take to end this threat, America?!