You Missed It: End of 2012 edition

It's how I do my thinking.
It’s how I do my thinking.

Oh, hello there. I’m just here sitting back in my smoking jacket and enjoying a nice whiskey on the rocks (my third). You know, I’ve been thinking a lot about 2012. It really sucked, didn’t it? Stop and think about it for a minute, did anything good happen this year to anyone but Psy? Not really. However, it certainly was a wild, memorable ride. Perhaps it was the looming threat of the end of the world. It could be the heavy buzz I’ve got going, but I feel like looking back on the biggest stories of this year. Grab a drink and join me, won’t you?

January:

Swingin’ Gingrich
Marianne Gingrich made her ex-husband, Newt, look even worse by dropping the bombshell that he wanted to have an open marriage. Apparently this is worse than asking your wife for a divorce when she’s recovering from cancer treatments in the hospital. Mitt Romney didn’t see what the big deal is–you can have more than one wife, right?

Also, they battle Hitler
In a story that can only end well, scientists in New York made “supersoldier” ants. I’m not really sure why this was so important to do, but now there are ants with really large heads. Their heads are so large that they are able to block the entrances to their nest when it comes under attack. Also, they do this really cool shield-throwing trick.

Equal time rule
A year away from inauguration day, and President Barack Obama was out on the campaign trail. He was raising funds, and he’d do just about anything for your money. At The Apollo, he noted that Rev. Al Green was in the audience, and did his own version of “Let’s Stay Together,” well a few bars of it, anyway. And he’s got the chops for it, too. The American public got to hear his pipes more along the campaign trail when he sang “Red Solo Cup” in Missouri. Continue reading You Missed It: End of 2012 edition

The McBournie Minute: Tainted celebrity love

Oh my god! Did you see it? Sacha Baron Cohen totally landed his bare ass on Eminem during the MTV Movie Awards last night! It was totally real, too. Because you could clearly see Eminem’s bodyguards hesitate while their boss got a man-ass shot.

Yeah, that stunt was staged. You don’t have someone fall from the ceiling with an exposed behind at an awards show and not have several dozen people know about it ahead of time. It’s called the Howard Stern theory of comic nudity. Stunts take a lot of time to plan out, and you need to get everyone to sign off on the safety side of things, too. You don’t want famous people getting hurt, now do you?

Let’s also keep in mind that nothing, repeat, nothing spontaneous happens on an MTV awards show anymore. They pretty much did away with that after the dude from Rage Against the Machine climbed up on the set of the MTV Music Awards when the Wayans brothers hosted. It truly was the only thing notable about that installment. Let’s get past the fact that naked butts on award shows have been done several times, let’s ignore the fact that we’ve seen Cohen put his crotch in a man’s face before. The real issue here is that celebrity crotches are out of control. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Tainted celebrity love