SG images explained

As you may have noticed, we have a few different styles of images on this stately site of ours. Confused? Don’t be. We’re here to explain.

First off, there’s me (Bryan McBournie). I tend to go with images with a basic, white on black caption. Do they sort of look like the Oasis logo? Well, yeah. Whatever.

Then, you’ve got Chris “Chugs” Taylor, whose images are fairly direct, in that they don’t have any jokes that jump out at you, but if you hover over them, that’s when the joke pops up. Chugs makes you work for it. He’s not a cheap date.

And then there’s Rick Snee. He’s got the hover over jokes on most of his images, but he also does a sort of lolcat-esque effect with the text in his images.

This makes perfect sense, because when he’s not posting on SG, he’s making lolRicks.

Eat My Sports: Bring it, Madden

I am challenging John Maddden. No, not to a game of Scrabble, or a game of who can drop “boom” more times in a five minute conversation. No kids, this year, we here at SG are challenging the video game, to see how they can handle us.

Playing as your favorite team gets lame after a while, Bryan McBournie himself has even admitted to there being a limit as to how much he can take of Tom Brady’s digital butt. So you need to kick it up a notch, give the game a little spark. You need to create a team of you and your friends as “create-a-players” with perfect ratings, and see if Madden has the cajones to keep up with you.

McBournie and I are masters of this. Throughout college we perfected the QB/RB combo by designing a shotgun offense that allowed my golden arm and toned legs to plow through any defense like Lindsay Lohan and Misha Barton tag-teaming a 10-lb eight ball. This year however, SG will take on Madden. And we will keep you posted of the results, but before we update you every week. Here is our lineup, as we will make the Detroit Lions a playoff team. Why Detroit? We told you already, we like the shotgun. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Bring it, Madden

MasterChugs Theater: ‘Quis custodiet ipsos custodes.’

The weekend before last, an event took place that for nearly 20 years, no one thought would ever actually happen-Watchmen, the movie, came out in theaters. Before the movie even begin pre-pre-production, the fandom was split down the middle on whether Alan Moore and Dave Gibbon’s landmark comic book story would be utter crap or the second golden age of comic-book movies. When the first initial script came flocking about the internet depicting time paradoxes, an assassination plot and Rorschach taking it to your face, much lamenting was done.

Now, a radically different script (at least, in comparison to the original first script) has been given life, finally giving the unwashed masses (your typical fan at San Diego Comicon) a chance to watch a live action version of the film. For some, the movie is once again down the line in terms of opinion, but not quite to the degree of the previous feelings. This, for the most part, is understandably so. Even SG’s own Bryan McBournie gave his own review of the film recently, unhappy with how it went.

There is one thing you need to understand, though: Bryan McBournie is horribly, horribly wrong.

No, really. Hit the jump to find out. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Quis custodiet ipsos custodes.’

Eat My Sports: I’m super, thanks for asking

So it has come to this. The Arizona Cardinals and the Pittsburgh Steelers in a game for the title, or as we like to say, for all the marbles. Last year, I predicted a 28-27 upset of the Patriots by Elisha Manning and his Giants. I also detailed how the game would play out, and also what it would be like to have The Guys together watching the game.

Well, dedicated readership, you’re getting half of what you’ve been wishing for since my Super Bowl column last year! Bryan McBournie and I will be watching the game and trying not to kill each other this very Sunday. How will both games play out … I wonder …. Continue reading Eat My Sports: I’m super, thanks for asking

No more condoms!

According to today’s Headline of the Day, residents around the Chesapeake Bay have less to fear about crabs. The population is apparently dwindling, probably because everyone’s finally using those little combs and special shampoos.

In other news, Bryan McBournie has been spotted at more bars since this headline debuted. If you are a human being between the ages 18 and 75, be advised.

How To: Mourn a celebrity

Jesus, the Internet’s like a bad zombie movie these days. Just a couple of weeks ago, you were lucky if you caught “It’s Bad for Ya” on HBO, which was played as filler between John Adams marathons and Recount. But now that George Carlin’s dead, you can’t escape the c**ksucker.

(And the week before, it was Tim Russert. You know, the guy from the political news that wasn’t Chris Matthews.)

The Guys are running around the Internet, trying to find quality news for you readers, and there’s George, walking around in another eulogy. No matter how fast we run, he’s still there, right behind us.

But he doesn’t moan for “braaaaaaaains” or even “pussyyyyyyyy farrrrrrrts.” No, he sounds like Jerry Seinfeld, Stephen Colbert or some blogger. There’s George, but that isn’t George anymore.

So how do dead celebrities get around so much? Because everyone’s gotta take their turn to mourn and do it right, or their fans will jump out of the woodworks to call you “insensitive.” It’s this rabid attention to post-mortem detail that prompted us to write how to mourn a celebrity. Continue reading How To: Mourn a celebrity